h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: Balloon volleyball - A1109774
Author: weberquetzal - U231111

Hi! This is my first entry and I just think it needs a bit of tweeking to get it into shape! I would love some help with polishing it up!

After 1 1/2 hours playing balloon volleyball during frees my friends and I came up with a refined deluxe version!

I quite like this entry reminds me of when I used to play this with my brother and cousins. It is a really long game to play however, as the balloon tends to take a great deal of time to hit the ground, and whenever you hit it hard, it just goes up... I suppose this problem can be alleviated by using less air in the balloon, thus making it denser.

But other than registering my appreciation for your entry, I am utterly useless at helping you here... The only section that I believe needs any work done on it is the "Techniques" section. I cannot explain why/where... it just doesn't quite read right... they don't seem to be ordered, however I could be wrong. They might infact be, just they don't appear to have any logical order

Thanks I'll look at the order!

I sugguest that once you've fixed that you enter this into Peer Review, it's really good, there's a few minor issues that relate to the house style, (such as using italics not bold for emphasis) but any sub editor would fix them in about five mintues... Go on enter it in Peer Review`...

OK! Thanks!
*feeling much more positive about writing in general!*

Great!!! the edited guide project really needs keen people who enjoy writing things..

I see there is no mention of the deliberate spectator foul (using a cigarette to pop the balloon) caused by inconsiderate play.