h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: 'Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey'- the film - A1090153
Author: [HPB] The Cat (ACE) aka Captain Jack Sparrow - A1116622 - HAPPY HARRIET TUBMAN, COMMONWEALTH DAY & DRY SEASON CELEBRATION - U198644

Right, let's try this again.

Peer Review seems to have changed so much since I was last in here.

*bump*

It's a bit spoiler heavy...

"Disliking an idea that was clearly very similar to the first movie1, the writers decided to get Winter and Reeves to back up the original screenplay - after seeing the idea had no mileage - which is the now the final film."

That really doesn't scan well. I'd suggest a quick re-write.

"Not only a product of a different decade but a bigger budget of $20 million made the quality better than the non-union..."

Same for that. I'd make it make it "Not only /was it/ a product but /it had/ a bigger budget of 20 million /which/ made..."

"Medievil" was a game for the PS1, "Medieval" was the era of the middle ages. In fact, do a fair few spellchecks on this entry.

Other than that, it's looking good.

Psyc.

You'll need to do a heavy bit of editing on this - there are bits where the typos come at you so fast that it is incomprehensible. Read it through to yourself, out loud if possible and see which bits don't make any sense. When you've done that and genuinely can't find any more mistakes, come back here and someone will give it a thorough going through.

"Now their evil selves are wrecking their lives and Bill and Ted can't do anything about it 'cause they're dead. This all (within half an hour) sets up another most excellent movie where B and T have to challenge the Grim Reaper and travel from Hell to Heaven in order to get their lives back..."

What, there was two films about the same story and one of those only lasts half an hour? I'm confused.

You don't even mention who directed the film. Surely that's an important job.

(Well you did advertise this entry in my Frasier thread, so you only have yourself to blame for my coming over here. )

Hey needed a pedant, what can I say?

You need a pedant who's good at spelling. That's not me.

I'm good at spelling. But I'm not going to point out the mistakes - you have to at least make an effort to find them yourself first.

If only Kat got here first.

Oh all right, if you insist.

Here are a few corrections to start you off.

The two words "Spoiler Warning" look a bit lost at the top of this. Were you thinking of giving us a warning and forgot?

Theadore --> Theodore (I think)
distributer --> distributor
who didn't see sense in killing --> who didn't see the sense in killing
As such, they suggested an alternative idea --> They suggested an alternative idea

after seeing the idea had no mileage -- which idea?

which is the now the final film -- what?
Orion relented, however they did --> Orion relented, but they did

Though he reasoning was to not upset the American audiences.
-->
The reasoning was to not upset the American audiences.

million --> million


made the quality better than --> , the quality was better than

the non-union, independent film that was the former --> the non-union, independent film that was the original


the 1988 feature looking grainy and dull with its backdrops and Bogus Journey housing colours similar to the (unaltered) future Hill Valley shown in Universal's Back to the Future, Part II. -- Why did the 1988 film feature Bogus Journey footage?


is a utopia thus it was pivitol that --> is a utopia. Thus it was pivotal that

Medievil --> Medieval or Mediaeval

looking looking --> looking

Accoustical Reverbaration --> Acoustical Reverberation

automitons --> automatons

Remove the quotation marks from around the mission items.

September 15, 1991 --> 15 September, 1991

potrayal --> portrayal

corridors corridors --> corridors

on one scene aswell --> in one scene as well

Knowing the meaning of life to gain entrance -- what about it?

She is also the fiancé --> She is also the fiancée

She is Bill's fiancé --> She is Bill's fiancée

Just when I've finished some spellchecking. *Stomps back into entry.*

Gnomon I'm afraid I don't know what you mean with the 'million' part or why the quotation marks need removed.

Oh, and the rest has been corrected.

Remove the space between million and .

You don't need quotation marks when you have already put the mission items in italics.

But they're quotes...

That's why they are in italics. Putting something in italics is a way of showing that it is a quote. Putting it in quotation marks is another way. You shouldn't use both.

Italics look better when it is a bulleted list like you have done for the mission items.

You still need to address some of the other points I raised, such as:

The two words "Spoiler Warning" look a bit lost at the top of this. Were you thinking of giving us a warning and forgot?

which is the now the final film -- what?

made the quality better than --> , the quality was better than


the 1988 feature looking grainy and dull with its backdrops and Bogus Journey housing colours similar to the (unaltered) future Hill Valley shown in Universal's Back to the Future, Part II. -- Why did the 1988 film feature Bogus Journey footage?

The original screenplay is the final film...

Great! So now reword the sentence so that is clear.