h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I feel this guide entry is even more essential now after a recent conversation I had:

Me: Do you know the difference between an armchair and a warthog?

Random person off street: No.

Me: Good grief! There's another one, you need to read my guide entry.

Random person: Oh, I thought you were telling a joke.

Me: How long have you had this problem?

Random Bloke 1: I couldn't tell the difference between a warthog and an armchair. But now, thanks to the remarkable guide entry that can be found here (http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/brunel/A1066079) I am completely cured.

Random Bloke 2: I've been sitting on my armchair for the last 6 years, and always wondered why it makes a funny squeak. Now, thanks to this guide entry, I know!

Other Random Bloke (Random Bloke 1, but wearing a false moustache and using a silly voice): I used to be afraid of armchairs, but I'm not now!

Bob Steady, owner of "Bob Steady's World of Warthogs": Dang, I was shure those things were Warthogs!

--This is just a simple sampling of the people. To find out more, read it.--

Warthog: Simply a useful word for poets trying to think or something to rhyme with synagogue, or are they more sinister?

Pet Shop Owner: I've had a couple of 'em sitting in my shop for ages. I used to wonder why people kept coming in and sitting on them. Now I know. Thank you Mr Acidophilus (Strange name... sounds a bit of a jessie to me)

Warthog breeder: Oh! So THAT'S what I'd been doing wrong. I'd wondered what those big soft things were on their back. Now I know: they're cushions.

"Armchair Seven-Daily" (Formerly "What Warthog Weekly"): Is our face red!

Coming soon from "Knackers Yard Productions":

How to tell an elephant from a baseball bat

Eating WITHOUT getting food in your hair

and

What happens if I put my finger in there?