h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I have never broken a bone. I have had only my tonsils, appendix, and a portion of my vas deferese removed. I am of good health and of sound mind.

Except for my left knee.

When I was 13 or so I slipped on an outdoor step and fell on a gigantic barbeque my father had given up on (it really was gigantically useless) and split the skin to the bone. Two years later I was playing rugby and fell on a particularly nasty bit of mud that hid a large stone which split it again, slightly to the right (my right) of the original scar. In my late teens, someone actually put a cigarette out on my kneecap thinking an ashtray was there. Several years ago I was cleaning the patio of an old apartment when I accidentally bumped into the old glass. The glass was (of course) not safety glass, and being so old turned into giant shards that knifed their way across my entire (wait for it) left kneecap. The hours spent in emergency were of great interest to my sig oth who watched intently as every bit of glass was washed or plucked away.

As a result my left knee, as opposed to my pristine other parts, is reminiscent of a topological map of the the Dark Side of the Moon.

Oddly enough, it has formed a distorted scar image of an arrow, complete with the feathery things on the end, whatever they are called. It is a very short arrow (no jokes, please), and luckily it points to my private bits.