h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

i really only have had four truly memorable experiences. when i was eight, my mother worked in a forest products lab. she took me to work and had a college student babysit me. well, the baby sitter fell asleep and i decided to explore. i have always been attracted to shiny things and there was a small bottle within my reach. the little bottle contained MEK (methyl ethyl ketone) and i decided to open it. it burned my hand so i dropped the bottle which then broke and burned a hole in the lab floor. i only recieved a small second degree chemical burn on my hand.

my second incident occurred at the tender age of ten. we were camping in south carolina and there were large boulders heaped near our campsite. i saw a cat sitting at the bottom of the boulders, so, following my humanitarian instincts, i gathered some dogfood in my pockets and climbed down. my father chased after me and yelled at me as i dumped the food within reach of the cat. i climbed about 5 feet up and fell. not down as would be expected, but UP. to protect my head, i flung my arm up on the ledge and slammed my head against it. i think that i would have been safer hitting my head. my rock climbing left me with a wrist broken in two places.

my third incident occurred horseback riding in the mississippi delta. you know how they say never to ride/swim/hunt alone? well, its worthy advice. i usually rode the 20 mile levee run with my cousin but he happened to be sick so i went alone. i was dismounting to pitch my tent and the horse took a step forward, causing me to slide off the horse. somehow, i managed to pop my shoulder out of joint. im fourteen years old and a fan of the lethal weapon movies and im sure you can guess what i did. i found the nearest tree and slammed up against it. it took me two tries to pop it back in so i could ride home. two years and two surgeries later, i have full use of my shoulder.

my fourth incident occurred today. i was hungry and i decided to warm up some chicken alfredo we had last night. i was pulling it out of the microwave and dumped the extremely hot noodles on top of me. though i only scalded the right side of my face and both of my hands, i think ill use a step stool to get things out of the microwave from now on.

Stacy