h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Thankee...
*}ringading-dongk!{ went the doorbell*
Oh wait, that can't be 'right'
*Resumes fiddling with the machine components and adjusting the wiring to the Pythonist Society's doorbell.*

How about this?

"Bing Tiddle Tiddle Bong"

Yes, much better...

*Asks for someone to pass the spanner, nose buried in the doorbell machinery's splayed innards*
"Yes, that does..."

*Now the doorbell generates the sound of an elephant's trunk trumpeting, a frog ribbiting and a rooster crowing (though not exactly in that same sequence each time ).*

"Oh well..."
*Wonders if he should stop fiddling with it yet*

*Replaces the doorbell with a theatrical Gong.*
}!{


etc.

"So which is better, ringing a doorbell or striking a brass gong?" - you tell me.
"However keep in mind you still get to keep your old doorbell (Just that now it randomly will insert funny [animal] noises, etc.)."

I'd rather one that plays "spam", unless the 'gong' is in fact the 'Liberty Bell'

dadadadadadadadada dadadadadadaaaaa dadadadadadadada dadadadadadaaaaaaa...

Or else the welcome could be the squishing of a foot from a cherub in a painting, or else it could be the 'It's man' saying "It's..."

A Ten Tonne weight dropped on one's head is also considered an appropriate welcome.

*Shows nick the spring loaded trapdoor-ejector cushion built into the welcome mat*
"Go ahead and push the wrong doorbell... I dare ya."

*Also note how there is another one nearby the not-so-new (i.e. old, but I am alliterating and kenning) one, underneath the "true" doorbell.*

Is a hidden springboard okay?

Ok, The red or the white...

*presses white*

*announcer says "welcome to Blackmail! Nude plays on organ*

*Sits down to watch*

...I'm pleased to see that the 'And Now for something completely different' function is working well...

"That's a great idear m'Lord..." went Arthur.
GOD:
"IT IS... THE_QUEST FOR THE HOLY GRAIL."
*s on pulleys carry up the *
Or that... that could work.
Thanks Nick.

*Thorn's jaw drops*
"A Tele-vision???"
* faints from/in disbelief*

*After Thorn manages to resusscitate himself/comes around, he rubs his eyes once or twice and then himself tries out pushing the wrong button.*
*Gets hit by a rampaging stampede/herd of jackalopes.*
}!!!{

Well, we could always change it to nude models with skating gear on, but I fear the "wrong" button will turn into the "right" button, well, for people who like that sort of thing, anyway

That, Or... we could have it be a random button. Maybe.

How about when you press it, you fall down a large hole and have to attempt to read an announcement on behalf of the "Brown Party" while dangling upside down?

Traveller in Time searching for the right 'wrong' button
"< <./>RandomEditedEntry</.> > 'Right button'
< <./>RandomEntry</.> > 'Weird button'
< <./>RandomeRecommendedEntry</.> > 'Wrong button'
< <./>info</.> > 'Left button'
"

, how about a '?' button?

< A9465618 >