h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*A bigish room. As you walk in there is a bunk bed built into the wall on the right side, to the left is a small desk and a book shelf. The book shelf is quite full, obviously the occupant is an avid reader. There are one or two books on Esparanto and Astro Navigation but there are more mystery, action, and sci-fi novels. No romance novels to be found here. But Arisztid is nothing if not happy to lend a book to a fellow crew member. There is an average sized port hole in the wall direcly in front of the door. It is fairly neat, however there are a few notepads scattered around with some writing scribbled on the pages, and one or two novels laying in that particular way that they do when the reader has gone away but is trying to keep their place by putting the book open, fave down on some surface or another. Under the port hole is a table with three chairs, one on each side. There is also a sink and mirrior near the bunk. The mirrior also turns into a television. In the backround is playing some Guns N' Roses, The Cure, or whatever just depending on Arisztid's mood.

*peeks out from around the door fram*
Everything tickety-boo?

yes sir!
*salutes*
can i interest you in a cup of tea?

*looks in*
you have had a medical havent you?
dont want any ill people...

illness spreads... and if people get ill they complain to me about it... and then i might have to do something... like stick them in quarenteen till they decide to stop being ill...

umm... no i havent had a medical yet... shuold i? maybe i'll drop by and get one. is that where you record me on to a depressingly tiny computer thingy to use as a hologram incase i die?

Actually its when she removes your liver and examines it and then returns it. She usually needs two to four tries to find the liver.

.. i feel jsut fine... so perhaps we could not do that...
um... i might be busy for whenever you have an opening for me to
come in...

Ohhh no, last person who tried that she shot with a tranquiliser dart while he was walking down the corridor and dragged him to the medibay.

hmm.. sounds painful... perhaps i'll go for my medical. i just cna tdecide which is hte lesser of two evils. should i put it off and be draged there unconsious or should i go willingly? perhaps i'll jsut lay low for a bit and she'll forget about me...

*apperes holding meny pointed shiney implaments and grining wickedly*

Guess who didn't forget?

*walks in with bucket of popcorn*
I told you Arisztid...

I do hate it so when people forget there apointments Arisztid
Now I will have give your examenation in here....
where you have no where to run to...


I am sure Arnold here will be glad to tell you the safty prosedure in this situation

In the almost guaranteed event of a medical emergency during this medical, the exit is here...
*points to the door in the cabin and shuts it and locks it very good*
...and for our safety and entertainment it is locked. If you happen to feel any discomfort tough luck because Anthea will pump you so full of tranquilizers you'll be lucky if you can swallow by yourself... Enjoy the medical...

*backs up as far as she can go, stumbles over something shes left on the floor and falls. luckuly she was close enough to the bed and she falls on that. quickly she grabs the blankets and pulls them over her head.

*walks in*
Whats happening man?

*from under the blankets*

help!!!

*shoots uncle bob with a tranquiliser dart then makes sure the door is securely locked before walking over to where Arisztid is cowering*

Now now I am a fully certified medic..
true i borrowed the cerificates from someone else but thats not to mean i dont know one end of the scalple from the other...

hold still and it will hurt much less than if i need to pin you down and cut out your spleen

*transmits in the room again*
Oh good, the show's on again!
*takes a handful of popcorn*
It's gonna be a good one!

oh yes Arnold the show is on again
did this person displease you in anyway which means they have to have a medical or is it just that your feeling kind...?

*takes out a long thin needle and injection kit*
now this shouldent hurt... till it hits the bone

Just following regulations. And also, you looked a bit down and I wanted to cheer you up a bit.