h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

About a mile inwards, the pleasent palm trees and sun warmed beaches turn into grubby shrubs and muddy grass lands. The moor is dark, dank, cool, and all in all quite oppresive to mind and body. It is hemmed in on one side by the massive Mount Gilmordae and on the other by a crescent of stone. Rain is frequent and sun foriegn. The sporadic eruptions of the mountain and the glow of the lava pools light the moor with an erie glow. Dark creatures lurk behind every shadow.

I'ms looking for hobbitses in kiltses. How many Kilted Scottsmenses do you know

what do you want with my army of Kilted Scottsmen?

I would give them each a bowl of porridge, sprinkled liberally with salt.
If they didn't like porridge, I would give them a , and try to understand them,

I think (I hope) I would be far too ladylike to look under their kilts...





Then I would send them off to have a natter with ph_el_oxi, wishing them well, of course!

The Paradox

Our death implicit in our birth,
We cease, or cannot be;
And know when we are laid in earth
We perish utterly.

And equally the spirit knows
The indomitable sense
Of immortality, which goes
Against all evidence.

See faith alone, whose hand unlocks
All mystery at a touch
Embrace the awful Paradox
Nor wonder overmuch.

Ruth Pitter

*A squad of kilted Scottsmen (who also happen to be wearing boxers), wearing the Bruce Tarten of course, and toating their bag pipes and with their claymores sheathed on their backs hop out from behind a bush and flank HDS.*

Here you go.