h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I've heard an interesting theory passed over the bar.
Drinking makes you smarter!
Since Alcohol purportedly kills brain cells, it follows that the older and weaker brain cells will die first, leaving the healthier and more robust brain cells and improving your brain cell pool.

I've also heard this similiar theory, that drinking cold beer will make you lose weight. Since it takes more calories to warm 12 ounces from 42 degrees to room temperature than there are calories in the beer. (yes I know different "calories".)again.

speaking of beer, i feel i must tell you something - if you don't know it already. soaking leeches in beer, as opposed to ancient recommendations, does not boost their appetite, and so will not help you in a blood-clotting emergency. they simply get inebriated, and lose the ability to cling on to your skin...

Is that what the IgNobel winners did? I saw the title of their experiment (something like "the effect of alcohol, garlic and ... something else I can't remember right now on the appetite of leaches") I thought for sure those fellows were drinking beer, eating pizza and sticking leaches on THEMSELVES. Why waste good beer on leaches until you've processed it.
Besides, we've always used beer to KILL leaches and snails. Very effective, they love the stuff.

no-ho! they dunked the leeches in the stuff (sour cream, garlic and beer). i've the ignobel book... and here's the funny bit. the fellas who won the award were not able to make it for the ceremony, so they sent a solemn norwegian rep guy who thanked the ig council on their behalf, and who said something on the lines of 'i'm sure that there are many of you scientists out there (in the audience) who would like to do your own leech testing, so here are some to get you started', fished out this plastic bag from his pocket and started throwing leeches at the audience. of course the council and the audience had no way of knowing that the leeches were made of plastic...

Ooh hoo hoo! That's one way to get the audience on their feet! Throw leaches at them.

mind you, he was lucky the audience didn't lynch him. on the other hand, it would make a great darwin award story - norwegian ambassador gets lynched for throwing plastic leeches at audience...