Nude Calendar 2003
Created | Updated Feb 4, 2003
No New Year would be complete without a charity nude calendar, so here, created especially for 2003, we have some of h2g2's finest examples of manhood, in a range of stunning poses creatively devised and photographed by me.
Oh, and Archangel Galaxy Babe.
So sit back and enjoy. Savour them one month at a time if you like. Or have the lot in one go, the choice is yours.
A big thank-you to all the lovely models, and a special show of appreciation for Saturnine and her dwarf-beard-braiding.
January - Bob the Farmer
Starting the year off as only he can, is 20-year old Bob, with something large, red and throbbing between his legs. That's right! He's on a lovely big motorbike, smouldering tantalisingly at the camera, turning the whole male population gay (he says!) and showing off some rather super dragon tattoos across his gorgeous pecs.
February - Bebel
Changing the mood a little (well, quite a lot really) we find Bebel Matman Owlatron's Thundercat Tshirt Dude sat upon a bar stool in a smoky attic, with fingers from the early morning sun strectching through the dusty window pane and caressing his body. He's strumming his acoustic guitar, composing a heartfelt and poignant ballad, and a cigarette is held delicately between the fingers of his right hand.
March - DogManStar
Our DMS has been working on his thighs, can't you tell? Rumour has it they're going to be knighted for services to the community. Meanwhile, he's all moody and oiled on one of these posh Italian bicycles.
April - Master B
Master B is clutching a green slimy thing. He says it's a cucumber, but I'm not so sure, however I'm not inclined to investigate further!May - Dr Vibestein and Johnny Vegas (special guest appearance)
Specially for May, and the star sign of Gemini, the twins, we have a double fold out spread this month. Everyone's favourite Dr and everyone's favourite comedian are standing back to back, arms folded, with cheeky grins on their chops. Aw, bless.June - Ekki
Ekki is lying on top of a bed made up with crisp white sheets, handcuffed to the wrought iron headboard (is it hot in here, or is it just me?) looking all vulnerable and in need of some attention.July - Stealth Kam
Likes leather, does our Stealth Kam, so much so that he wanted to keep this black leather twirly chair after the shoot. He's got his right foot crossed onto his left knee, and his left hand is behind his head. there's a towel protecting his modesty. This shot is one of those magic "change the angle and it's a different shot!" ones, so look - here he is pouting...no, now he's smiling...pouting...smiling....pouting. (well that ought to keep you out of mischief till the next month.)
August - Loosehead
Now Loosehead has sme funny shaped balls - yes, he's a fine figure of a rugger-bugger, and we see him here in action, hefting a kick into the aire, sweat dripping from his glistening frame.....towel, anyone?
September - Croz
Aaaah, harvest time, and Croz can be found nestled behind a stunning seasonal display of pumpkins, turnips and cauliflowers. Oh, and a cunningly placed parsnip. And who's that we can spy lurking behind those carrots...could it be Zak the Duck!!!!
October - Huffers
A Mountie always gets his man. So they say. Here on the back of a fine looking beast is Huffers in a Mountie's hat, with that sexy mole of his.
November - Xanatic
Now Xanatic is a well-travelled young man, hailing originally from Denmark but currently in the Far East on his search for nice friendly girls. He's opted to pose in full tribal gear complete with loin cloth. Didnt we do a nice jungle effect with those potted plants?
