h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

But there's nothing like a good bit of air guitar once in a while. That once being when you're twelve years old, and the while is while your going through the heavy metal stage that everyone has experienced at some point in life. Or is that just me.

Who said anything about having to be 12 years old. Air guitar is one of the mainstays of my exercise regime.

Air guitar's accepable as long as it's done by people that can actually play. The danger of non-players practising the Pete Townsend-style windmill thing is that when faced with a real guitar (usually yours) they break the strings (or their fingers. hah) on the first strum. While I'm here I'd also like to complain about people with unrealistic strumming actions and people that use the word "plectrum" to sound as if they know what they're on about.

The ultimate test is to see if someone can do George Harrison air guitar. Watch the little finger... if it shakes too much, they're faking it.

Does anyone know the Air guitar chords to 'Smack my Bitch Up' by the Prodigy?

My favourite is air tapping to old Extreme songs. Nuno rocks.

I conjecture that there is a new trend sweeping Europe, however. Since the meteoric rise of Apocalyptica (http://www.apocalyptica.com ), a cello quartet who cover Metallica songs, I can only assume that people play air cello during their gigs.

How come this conversation has ended up on the most neglected AND the busiest? Something very strange is going on somewhere.

I thought the whole point of playing air guitar was so that you could pretend that you were actually able to play guitar. Therefore it doesn't matter what you do, you'll still look stupid.

Perhaps people are very busily neglecting it...

I carried out a flash poll of air guitar style in my office the other day.

The male of the species played what looked like a very small guitar, hunched over, frowning and displaying intricate finger work. The female representatives had very large guitars and posed glam-rock style making huge sweeping movements with their fingers.

I found this a very revealing piece of research.

Well. An interesting can of worms. Could this entry be the first to make it as ""Newest", "Most Neglected" and "Busiest" all at the same time? Is this the beginning of an all new trend at H2G2? Is this the "Almighty Ones" idea of humor? Am I asking WAY too many questions? Do I really want to know the answers? I should say NOT! It could be the "air" thing. All this talk of "air guitar" may have developed a ripple effect which has manefested itself as "air reality". In this present reality, would air guitarists be real, and real guitarists be faking it?.........I don't want to think anymore.

Air guitar - invented in the mid-nineteen-eighties as an alternative to aerobics. Air guitar supposedly having the advantages-

Air guitar was a an alternative to aerobics that was invented sometime during the 1980's, it benefits being that (1) you don't have to wear a leotard (2) you don't have to buy lots of expensive plastic steps to stand on.
However, people soon found out that air guitar also had a few drawbacks (1) It's expensive due to the gallons of beer you need to drink before you perform in public (2) No-one can do it as well as me. (3) Leotards are comfy.
And it's important to remember that it's more fun than air penny-whistle, but not nearly as enjoyable as air kazoo.

Yeah, but Pete Townshend can't even do the windmill thing properly...

At least I recall reading somewhere a while back that he'd been doing it and managed to stick his whammy bar straight through his hand. It was touch and go as to whether he'd regain use of his right hand and was quoted as saying (roughly along the lines of), "It was a close thing, I thought for a while that I'd never w**k again."

Personally I don't see how injuring your hand could prevent you from walking.

After playing both Guitar, Bass, and both air varities for several years, I can safely say that playing along to Voodoo Child on my oxygenated fretboard is something that makes my life whole...

hav we got any Finns in the house? Don't they have an annual air guitar championship?

An Anal Air Guitar Championship?... oh, sorry, I must have misread that...

Wasn't there some French bloke that could fart tunes? Can't remember his name but Vic and Bob named two characters after him. M. le Petomaine, that was it.

Yeah, rings a bell. I think I saw a short film starring Leonard Rositter about him once, the wonders of insomnia.

I do, it goes

: ___ : __+=== : ----- : ¬¬¬ over and over again.

Great video to that song though, haven't we all had nights like that!!!

Has to be either the 'seminal' Sultans of Swing by Dire Straits (don't tell me you've never tried to follow the chords...) or possibly (it's very close) the similarly classic Smells like Teen Spirit by Nirvana... as they say (far too often) Kurt Cobain is dead. Nevermind....