h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

There is a small problem is S.A., caused by all the work being in Jo'burg.: Males, generally speaking, being the workers, leave there coastal towns (the only other place people live, really) and go to Jo'burg to find work, leaving the womenfolk behind.

The Result: Too many men in Jo'burg and not enough in other towns. Cape Town, for instance, is said to have 3 women for every man and East London may have as high as 6 to 1. This is why you seldom see a lonely woman in Jo'burg, but might mistake any coastal night club for a lesbian bar

So, I'm guessing jobs on the coast are in high demand?

No, because there's hardly any money there.

I think the money reason is mostly true. Durban is clearly the capital for low wages. A Durbanite can often double their wages with the same job in Joberg.

But many Jobergers still dream of finding that one good-paying job in Cape Town (there's got to be at least one, right?) that will allow them to afford the high cost of living, even though Joberg seems to be filling up with Cape Town returnees (i.e. those who left Joberg rat race to seek a better, simpler life by the mountain and two oceans, but came back, disheartened by slow career development and the realization that they are perhaps, after all, rats just like the rest of us)these days.

Port Elizabeth has jobs if you have engineering or technical skills and are in manufacturing.

Places you people haven't looked! I'll tell you that the jobs are in...wait for it...George. Again, anywhere that doesn't have an 011 phone code is going to be cheap (to earn) and dear (to live) - especially on the coast. But my town is the fastest-growing city in the country, 3rd year in a row...the great minority of them Gautengers who enjoy a more-than-annual shot at living "lake human beangs marn". George too has its mountain, and Victoria Bay as our delightful beach. Also it has been known to reach temps of more than 5 degrees C, which often traumatises Capies. They get used to it.

George is a fabulous golf town, and the Town Bitch "Mrs Plattner" runs the burgeoning Fancourt golf empire with an iron fist (and taste that verges on the American for sheer vulgarity). Knysna is about 30 min from here for those days when you really need a bit of civic beauty...in fact, George is a place you can really live in. A huge new mall will be opening soon, so that's a lot of marketing jobs right there.

Everyone knows that the most healthy type of civic immigrant is the young family - and they form the bulk of George's new homeowners...34 000 people will arrive by 2005 - and if you consider there are 101 700 here now, that's pretty damn large.

The schools, especially mine, leave much to be desired in terms of grounds and comfort, but they are excellent. York High is a top-notch school which manages to keep an excellent name for itself nationally, especially in field hockey and national subject competitions (notably Science, Maths, Home-Economics and English).

You'll love it.