Pennying at Caius- A Noble Cambridge Tradition

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This article is a warning to anyone wishing to study at Cambridge University, as well as a chance for me to get down- in writing- the rules of this drinking "sport", as I see them. But first a little explanation is required.
Pennying involves the placing of a 1 penny piece into another's drink. The "pennied" person must now down that glass of wine/beer or face the wrath of the collected student body. There are, however, many rules that the unwary may slip up on. They are...
  1. If pennied the pennied person MUST drink their drink. They do not have to pour another one.
  2. One may only penny another person if one has an alcoholic drink as well. It need not be a full glass however...
  3. The pennied person is allowed a short time to psyche themself up beforehand- as long as they do, eventually, down it. But, the drink MUST be downed the next time the pennied person touches the glass.1
  4. If a second penny is placed into the glass duing this time period there shall be a cry of "Double penny!!" and the 2nd pennier MUST down the double-pennied glass.
  5. Pennies may only be dropped into glasses that have been requested, whether by a specific asking for a glass or any sort of non-verbal agreement (e.g. a nod). Thus pouring and pennying (the action of pouring someone a glass and then pennying them IS allowed).
    Alternatively: If no request is made for a glass of wine, if for instance they're too inebriated to make an informed decision, then you may still pour but not penny.
    Conclusion: It's probably best to only play 1 of the above rules, otherwise it could all get very confusing; but then that's the point of the whole game anyway!
  6. If a pennied person pennies another glass then that 2nd pennied person does not have to down their drink until the primary pennied person has finished theirs.
  7. A person may be pennied AT ANY TIME. No prior agreement to play has to be made. The mere acceptance of a place at Cambridge University covers that. (It's in the small print)
  8. Stephen Hawking may not be pennied.2(Not an official rule this, just a warning.)

Caution, only for the "extreme player"

  1. Food may also be pennied as long as it is liquid(ish) and therefore downable. Yoghurt is VERY suitable. The pennied person must now eat the food without cutlery of any kind. Extra style marks will be awarded for downing the food.
  2. If there are no pennies to hand, or are banned then several alternatives may be used. These include smarties3, used just like pennies; and forks,knives and spoons4. These are used as follows. When placed into a glass the "placee" must say5 "The spoon of doom" or "The knife of strife" as appropriate. If you can think of a rhyme for fork then use that as well6.

PLEASE NOTE THESE RULES ARE IN NO WAY OFFICIAL OR EVEN FULLY ACCURATE. THEY MERELY REPRESENT HOW THE AUTHOR HAS SEEN THE RULES IN CAIUS COLLEGE, CAMBRIDGE. THE AUTHOR ACCEPTS NO RESPONSIBILTY FOR DRUNKENNESS THAT MAY RESULT

Related articles, in the life at Caius series

Boat races caius style
1Some of the other, nastier, colleges have a time limit on waiting to down- but we'll ignore that.2Stephen Hawking is a fellow at Caius and tempting as it may seem to penny him- don't! I was there the night two Robinson students pennied his desert (see additional rules below). They were banned from Caius for life and suffered fines of over £503At John's definitely and most others4The strangest implement I've seen used was an umbrella... by a very drunk boatie upon being escorted out of Formal Hall... who said "The umbrella of hjdfsbjkcdsbncxs" and then promptly fell over5In as silly a voice as possible6There is a, shall we say "traditional" cry for use with a fork, but it's far too rude to mention here!

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