h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Unfortently yes I know what this is, but I have no idea why it only carries a 2 year sentance, it should be at least 5. Anyhow Laws are diffrent down under I have no idea whether its ilgale or not however they whould get at least 2 anyway for willful destruction of a public monument, and break in and enter.
Anyhow it is however not a scary as Dendrophilia which is quite littraly getting back to nature in no uncertain terms. I have no idea how its possible and don't particurly wan't to know. Zoorophillia is a close 3rd on the list of weird and totaly discustings ways to get your end away.
Why don't you just use either a dirty magaise and your hand or somthing really waky how about getting a girl/boy freind?
But the world is full of strange people and strange customs, but I think that these three are beyond the pale.

I would have said that necrophilia and zoophilia were worse than dendrophilia. Maybe that's just a personal order of disgust though.

Anyway, they're probably all god for killoing conversations on a date.

I would say that they're all huddled together in one huge heap right at the extreme end of the scale of repulsiveness! They're all just TWISTED!

Dendrophillia is just weird, the other two are twisted and so is Mungry. If you know what it is, shut up, I don't live in bliss becuase I do know, however others don't. As far as being conversation killers saying you "really really love dead people, trees or animals" is probebly one of the biggest arround. However Inamiateobjectopillia or caropillia are pretty big.

Something certainly not to say - (this is a quote from one of my less mentally ordinary friends)

"I'm tetrasexual - men, women, animals, and appliances!"

By carophilia did you mean autophilia?

No Autophila can mean with trucks, trains and busses as well....

Not to be confused with autoeroticism. Or is it, I can never remember...

Yes well, its when someone mangeses to leagaly get married to his car you have to start thinking how sane this world is. Perhaps Wonko had it right...

I once heard about a chap who married his horse - now that's dodgy!

This is catagorical proof that Wonko had it wirte!

Good old Wonko and his toothpick instructions!

I've heard in America now some packets of peanuts have instructions:

"Open packet. Eat nuts."

That's proof that the reason people think I'm loony is because they're mad and I'm sane!

I fully agkwnolage I am crasy, but I say I am not mad as "The diffrence between mad and crasy is that crasy will use a feather, mad will use a hole chicken." That works for Errotic and Kinky (in that order) as well.

I'm mad... whole chickens are far more fun than mere feathers!

Its where you put it, is the question. Speaking of strange acts, there was a story I heard from Dawin Awards 2 whereby this person was walking down a hospital halway and heard some laugthing. So they approced to where there where two Nurses almost completly incapible of restrianing themselths. From innsiide the ward there was more so the person took a look and there was a Man Half naked from the waste down. In and arround his dingaling was porqupine quills. There are only two ways that could happen. But you just gotta laugth.

Lol! Now that is *stupid*! I thought I was mad enough the other day when I discovered a new level of absolute random futility. Someone asked me for my number but I didn't give it to them because I was all shy and because I didn't bump into them again that day. Then I got home and wanted to ring them but didnt have their number. Then I had this dream that I dialed a random number and it was them! So when I woke up I picked up my phone and invented a number... surprisingly enough I'd called the wrong person! And I they thought I was mad because I said "sorry about that, it's just that I'm trying to guess someone's mobile number!"

Humm. Random number calling doesnot do it for me as I hate phone with a passion. They are the bane of my exsistance as they don't work all the time and they never ring for me (I wonder why? mabee becuase I hate 'em). I don't have a mobile at all for 2 very good reasons. 1. Becuase if I did eveyone whould use it to call me (or message me) and say "where are you" 2. they cost money I don't have.

It's quite annoying when ppl you don't want to speak to such as exes keep texting or ringing... that once caused me to almost throw my phone out of the window of a very high building! They are generally quite pleasant objects though - mine even has a name! (Another thing I shouldn't mention on a date - "This is my phone. He's called Dawgbert. Of course, he's not really a mobile phone because he is actually an alien!")

Tried to have a date last week - it did not come to pass due to circumstances beyond my control. Did pull twice, but that was a complete accident... No, really, it was!

Really!

Hows about 'are my feet too cold'?

Right sure you dident meen to.