The Church of Adams and the Continuum of Life
Created | Updated Jul 16, 2002
Our History
The Church of Adams and the Continuum of Life is a religous establishment which respects the greatest of Prophets: The Prophet Adams. It also acknowledges the Prophet's great theories which include the answer to the Ultimate Question and the Interconnectedness of all things.In the year 1952 there was turmoil in the British Empire, a King had just died and 'twas a dark, dark hour. As his daughter came to the throne no one noticed amongst the chaos the birth, of a prophet. Born Douglas Noel Adams no one recognised the genius of this man. Then, one night at a young age, he lay drunk in a field. There, as he lay, a mouse said unto him,
"Awake, Douglas Noel Adams. For it is thou who shalt tell unto the world of the great Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. It is thou who shalt tell of the great deeds of the angels: Arthur, Ford, Zaphod and Trillian. And of the mighty power weilded by a man on a rainy planet who liveth in a shed. All this and more shall thee tell. And all will come and see the Prophet Adams."
Thus said, the mighty mouse from the skies departed and all was oncemore dark. As the Prophet Adams struggled to his feet a great dizzyness overcame him. At 12:53 p.m. the next day he awoke, bleary eyed and with a splitting headache. It was then that he cursed the Lord for giving unto him the spirits which had carried him into this state of pain. But then, in a flash of searing light all thoughts were gone but the throbbing memory of the visitation of the night before. In his mind it pulsed a Heart of Gold. Yes!.
As he picked up a quill he narrated the tale - in a trilogy of five books - of adventure and derring-do. And as men read, men turned to followers. And as men heard, men turned to disciples.
Thus the Great Prophet Adams laid out the future, history and present in the only book. But on finishing the last book, Mostly Harmless he had not exhausted his divine knowledge. Not by any means. Instead he started a fresh this time narrating how Dirk Gently proved the interconnectedness of all things. And thus writing proved finally unto the world that there was a meaning to life. That of affecting other things. However small a stone or grain kernel just by being blown in the wind on Planet Earth it may well be affecting a catclysm in the Southern Spiral Arm of the Universe.
As Adams explained away all the troubles of the world, there was only one problem. His theories clearly stated that once the universe was understood it would be instantly replaced with something vastly more complex and incomprehensable. 'What to do about this the mice thought? If we are not careful this man will destroy the universe!'
Now you may say that it was stupid of them to tell the Prophet the whole truth in the first place, but these pan-dimensional beings were not as stupid as all that. So, when the Prophet began writing the final, cataclysmic, end-of-the-universe-bringing book, the High Council of Micedom came to the decision that he must be stopped. Here is an Excerpt from one of the High Council's meetings.
"He must be stopped!"
"I know. He is going to bring about the end of us all!"
"Wait! How do you get rid of information on a computation complex?"
"Hey, nifty. You destroy it!"
"Of course. So we destroy him!"
"But he's our prophet. This is a PR catastrophe!"
"Oh Shutup. What do you value more? Your PR or your Universe. For Zarquon's sake you really need to get your priorities sorted!"
"Well, atleast I don't go round killing people, because I'm going to die."
"Oy, don't....
So the debate raged for pan-dimensional weeks. Until they realised that if they didn't decide soon, the book would be finshed. So decided they made sure that he died suddenly and without warning or cause. The event was officialy designated: An Act of God.
What do we do?
Here at the Church of Adams and the Continuum of Life we preach the theories and ideas of Douglas Noel Adams (1952 - 2001). We believe that there is truth in the Prophet's predictions, such as the Restaurant at the End of the Universe.If you are really a serious believer in all things Adamical then why not join many of us as a Priest of the Church of Adams and the Continuum of Life. Or if you are but a casual believer don't miss our services and join the congregation.
We will reveal to you how chaotic life really can be. Believe you me as soon as you realise the worth that religion can give to your life we will be able to once again make sure you feel as insignificant as your supposed to. Religion is wonderful, isn't it.
Read the weekly sermon:The Weekly Sermon from the Church of Adams and the Continuum of Life
How to join
PRIESTHOOD
:
The Priesthood of the Church of Adams and the Continuum of Life is a great and noble order. The members preach to the congregation and write articles on the interpretation of the Prophet's works, whether it is for the Church itself or for the Post. Their honourable job is to tell to the world how the Prophet predicted things and how Adams told the world of the divine knowledge.
To join:
- Submit your Thesis below.
- I will read it and contact you.
- If I accept your thesis you will become a priest.
- Once a priest I will post you on this page
CURRENT PRIESTS:
Please choose a priestWotchit - High PriestLuckystar - High PriestessCONGREGATION
:
At the Church of Adams and the Continuum of Life we respect our congregation bacause without them we would be nothing. If you are not already one of the faithful followers of Adams just read the above history or another of our articles and you will be convinced that this is the only place to be on Sodit1. Various Priests will hold the service at 19.00 British Time, every Sodit. So why not join others for the enthralling tales of Adams. Remember to read the weekly sermon here: The Weekly Sermon from the Church of Adams and the Continuum of Life
To join:
- Post a message below or e-mail me
- I will contact you and post you on this site
