A Conversation for Surviving Toddler Tantrums

Not just terrible twos...

Post 1

Researcher 204057

I think terrible twos is a misnomer...in my experience, tantrums are often worse at age three and four. As a matter of fact with both my kids 3 1/2 is the worst period. Actually, I have 3 1/2 year old who is having huge tantrums and I can just hope to have some improvement as he grows older. Neither of my kids had many tantrums at two though. And the ones that did occur were more easily squashed. We find time outs to be most effective when done consistently. Dealing with tantrums in stores is another ballgame. It isn't fair to have my child disturbing other people in public. My best result is to take him to the car and let him get his rage out there.

What is most amazing about the tantrums for both my kids is the amount of strength they have with them. The adrenalin rush must be quite high.

Not just terrible twos...

Post 2


I've got terrible fives going on six.It's difficult to know what to do when she has a tantrum, it usually happens at home so god knows what the neighbours think! We have much wailing and gnashing of teeth.In some ways it's not the actual tantrum it's the calming down which is a problem. She gets very sad and reflects on bad things that have happend to her, minor things to us, but obviously big things in her little life, like the breaking of a toy or arguing with a friend. It takes her ages to stop crying, and this anoys her even more, she shouts 'I can't stop'. Thankfully these are only a once weekly or fortnightly occurence but still difficult all the same.

Not just terrible twos...

Post 3


I remember smugly thinking how we'd managed to avoid too many toddler tantrums with my daughter when she reached 3 (6 months ago)and I am now wiping the smile off my own face since her little brother was born 5 months ago. The unbelievable tantrums we've had since then have quite frankly taken my breath away! Maybe its the fatique of sleepless nights making me less able to cope with them (the baby sleeps 12 hours straight through, the 3yr old wakes up screaming each night). Recently the strength of my daughters will combined with her sheer physical strength and frightening amount of energy she puts into a tantrum is quite shocking! Nothing seems to bring her out of it once she's got started and we've tried all the strategies..2 nights ago she actually growled and bared her teeth (yes, really!) banged her bedroom door violently, threw toys and books across the room and screamed until she finally fell asleep..I realised that the only thing you can be sure of with children is that nothing stays the same - and I promise never to be tempted to be smug again...

Not just terrible twos...

Post 4


I jion the club that trantrums are not just for 2-3 year olds. My child is four and is going through a terible stage with tantrums about everything !!smiley - sadface

Not just terrible twos...

Post 5


Thank god it's not just us. My 5 year-old grandson throws the most incredible strops sometimes and he also says "I can't stop". A trick that sometimeas works is to ignore his behaviour and ask him a question about something totally unconnected like "Do you think I should feed the dog now or later?" He's so surprised that he stops trashing about long enough to answer and then I ask him to do it. By the time he's got the tin , spoon etc. he's forgotten what he was so angry about. Doesn't always work but diversionary tactics are worth a try. It's better than shouting or smacking. If all else fails we take him out of the room and wait till he's ready to come back in as a sane human being.

Not just terrible twos...

Post 6


Likewise at 2 yrs old my grandaughter was a pleasure to be with, a little gem in fact, but now she has reached 3yrs old, she has transformed into a little monster. It's as if someone has flicked a switch and changed her personality. At home it is much easier to cope with, ignoring is the best policy, but in a public situation it is a nightmare. We're getting to the stage when we dread taking her out for fear of a screaming session which can be shortlived, but more often than not lasts for half an hour or more.

I wonder if tiredness plays any part??

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