h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

... that people don't seem to understand (especially on the London Underground, but elsewhere as well), is:

When you're planning to board, stand back and let people off first.

This shouldn't be difficult, but people seem to have an awful lot of trouble with it. I have yet to figure out where you think you're going to stand on a crowded train or bus if you're not going to let the large group of people trying to exit get off.

If you *really* need to have sex, and can't wait, get off the bus/train/coach/plane first. There are few things more irritating for the other passengers.

Yes, that's one of the few things I *haven't* seen people do on the Dart (Dublin Area Rapid Transit, ie train). Eating, drinking, combing hair, putting on makeup, kissing, sleeping, and talking on the phone are all allowed, though they tend to annoy some passengers, such as my mom. (Though I have to admit that combing your hair isn't the best idea..)
We're more laid back than the London Underground.

We also have the problem about waiting for people to get off. Then there's the one about making room for those trying to get on. If there is significant space between you and the next person at rush hour, you're either incredibly lucky or you're going about it all wrong!

Hint to music fans: if your music seems too loud when the train has stopped, it's also too loud when it's moving. The Dart isn't engineered for listening. Sorry.

If someone appears to be looking at your partner in the Tube or any underground mass transit travel mechanism, do not resort to violent verbal exchange or even physical violence, as people will generally think of you as a bit of a control-freak, and that your relationship is not necessarily as stable as you may think. They may not be 'checking him/her out'. Instead, they may be looking through you in a dazed sort of manner, as such is the effect of underground travel.

Also, if you're sitting opposite someone for any length of time, it's nearly impossible not to look at him/her. Especially if you're underground, therefore with little else at which to look.

Another thing is to move down the carriage, bus and not stand at the door, this allows more people on. It can especially frustrating if you end up being stuck in the rain and bus after bus go past and you don't get let on because the drive past because the driver thinks it is full, only for you to see loads of room at the back of the bus.

Another great way to pass the public transit time is to strike up a conversation with those around you. Don't be afraid to talk to your fellow humans! Although it is not wise to engage EVERYONE in an invloved discourse, you sometimes run across someone just as bored as yourself who would love some distraction from the monotony of mass transportation! Don't be afraid to chat, it makes the whole transit experience alot less impersonal