h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

No you may not.
(If Fnord's postings seem angrier than usual, it's merely because he has A MONTH OF EXAMS TO GO THROUGH, which usually wouldn't bother the young Fnord, if it weren't for the fact that his mother, in particular, has been MAKING HIS LIFE A LIVING HELL JUST BECAUSE SHE WANTS TO LIVE THROUGH HIM. YOU HEAR THAT, MA? WITHOUT ME, YOU'D BE OUT ON THE STREETS. *OUT ON THE STREETS*, YA HEAR ME???!!!!)
We now return you to your normal program - that is, if you haven't seen the fnords.
-M3

Actually, Fnord, you could turn all of that into a reality show and make a bundle. Your mother would be good for 'entertainment value' and you could be the 'everyman' trying to live a 'normal life' amidst all that wonkiness.

Kidding, of course.

Well, sort of.

Get a grip, honey. You know you will do fine in your exams. As will Clare and hopefully not dead Jem.

Would you rather trade places and face a summer of not enough income and not-payable massive debts? After just having had your bank loan turned down? I rather don't think so.

I say, make the most of the free room and board while you can. And then make a clever escape into your next life phase.

kissitos,
az

Fnord,

So far this seem to be a thread to

(a) commiserate about exams
(b) chat about ducks ()
(c) ask questions which might help you in your exams.

I'm afraid, being old and almost entirely duck-free, I can only help with (c), and possibly not even that. But if you think I can - shoot.

H.

Jem (still alive and quacking, I assure you) has asked me to say she won't be online for a while as she's going to see her Grandmas. (she's finished her exams, lucky b*gg*r ) Good luck Fnord, I'm sure you'll do fine.

Clare

*almost* entirely duck-free Hoo? Do you have one duck, or maybe a piece of duck, tucked away somewhere? I am intrigued

Crispy Szechuan with Hoi Sin sauce, Clarabelle, but while it's tasty it's not exactly cute.

How's it going? (Check out my personal space for how it's going with me... )

H.

Hmm yes, I can see what the was for. And I think you were in the right (though you could perhaps have been right a little more tactfully), so you do have the satisfaction of being a martyr, if nothing else.

I have one more exam to go and them I'm free (*sings: Fre-eedom, oh fre-eedom etc*). Unfortunatley it is Greek, so I am madly cramming for that. I have calculated that we have to learn 88 parts of each verb, but only 9 for each noun, giving a verb:noun ratio of 1:0.102 or thereabouts. Why did I ever choose to do this, masochist that I am..

I've never eaten duck, is it nice?

I'm merely here on the reccomendation of Az, I'm sure I'll do fine in the exams, too (possibly the only downside of being a prodigy and over-intelligent {and knowing it.... or at least THINKING you know it} is that you feel far, far too overconfident for exams and thus don't feel the need to revise until your rents beg you to at the last second), but I'm here to commiserate with the two Christian (ex-Christian?) fempersons who maybe don't feel so confident, and also just because I literally can't find any intelligent philosophical/theological threads to join and debate on right now since the domination of the "God: Fact or Fiction" thread by Toxxin.
*Commiserates*
-M3

hi Fnord!

Clare,

Getting back to the all important duck issue. Twice now I have rescued young ducks whilst out on bike rides (ones that had obviously once been pets and then dumped in the river once they started growing and *smelling* - duck sh*t really reeks).

Learned many things from these two experiences:

- it's not easy to ride a bike while holding a wet squirming duck in one hand.

- ducks that were once pets are ridiculously affectionate and want to follow you all over the place and then squawk pitifully - even all night long - when you leave them safely in a closed off room so house cats won't eat them.

- duck sh*t really really smells bad (as previously mentioned)

- ducks are really messy eaters

- it's no fun having to sit on the floor reading in the 'safe duck room' so that duck will stop squawking

- small ducks are really quite cute and like to lightly nibble your fingers

- wild ducks are territorial psycho killers

- don't ever try to rescue ducks

What? There's no duck smiley?

az

Animalist anti-equality bigots make 'em, ya see.
No...no...... don't ban me...nooooooooooooo!
(Does anyone else hate the twin words "Noooooooooo" and "Argh!"? The first always comes out sounding as "Nooow" or "Nu" in my head, and the second actually has an end, so if you're falling off a cliff you have to time it right or you'll end up going "Aaaarguh.. oh damn.... Aaaarrguh..... oh damn...... Aaaaaaaaaaaaaar-".)
Just me, then.
-m3

Fnord,

You forgot - ouch, ouch, ouch!!!

btw girls, suggested Fnord check out this thread as he had this absurd idea that being 15 was somehow embarrassing.

Porto just won the match. Very cute goalkeeper!

az

It *is* embarrasing : once they find out that I'm below the age of thirty, most of the debaters on this site will take one look at ANY of my posts, and instead of them thinking that it's a valid argument because I'm an anonymous, faceless blob in their minds, the only fix they'll have on me is of me being 15, and in most people's minds the (regrettable) connection between age and experience and experience and intelligence and intelligence and validity is an obvious one, even if it's not true. I suspect that most people apart from a few elite, such as Az and a few more open minded ones, will have that link indelibly branded on any of my posts.
Oh, well, too late now.

You must have been talking to the wrong people, Fnord. None of the researchers I've spoken to have been like that. Most won't even notice your age unless they go to your home page and it's got something there, or if you talk about exams (as we have been) or other obvious teenage things. (Or is it that they do notice, but are just too polite to mention our juvenility, illiteracy, unintelligabiliy and all the other ilitys that go with being 15?)

I got in a fight with a duck last friday; it was trying to eat my Greek notes. I was going to let it keep them, but my Greek teacher was there too. I never knew before that ducks had serrated beaks.

C

Clare: Well *I* didn't know that ducks had a penchant for passing travellers, (or was that geese?) or that they tasted so, so nice (or was that chocolate?).
No, see, the point is I was trying to avoid people finding out not because of what they'd say, but because of what they think.
(If anyone even ATTEMPTS to say something along the lines of "You shouldn't care what other people think", then I don't care what YOU think, and the only person who might not care what anyone thinks is a solipsist, and since everyone in the universe is merely a projection of the solipsist, then they're just trying to ignore themselves.)
See, whatever they say they'll have you mentally in a category of "Younger than me", and whatever they say most people will think slightly differently about you.
But let's change the subject, because even if I do manage to explain what I mean well enough, you certainly won't agree.
So, um, ah, I don't know, just carry on about ducks, I suppose.
-m3

Fnord,
"See, whatever they say they'll have you mentally in a category of "Younger than me", and whatever they say most people will think slightly differently about you"
If they don't say anything different, how do you know what they're thinking? Also, how do they know you're younger than them unless you say so?
Just wondering...

Also, you're making a prety big assumption in saying Duckie and I are Christian, aren't you? She 'happens to believe in the god of Christianity', I am 'in the not-really-sure-maybe-maybe-not combined with well-its-all-the-same-really-so-long-as-we're-nice-to-each-other-woolly-liberal phase' or thereabouts.

And finally...a quote from Hoo (I hope you don't mind, H) 'This form of conversation is an excellent leveller, because there's no way I can shout you down, or physically intimidate you, or belittle your appearance or accent or whatever dishonest thing I might try to do to win an argument from a weak position' If you don't let it be generally known, nobody can find out how old you are, just that you are, 'Old enough to use a computer to access the internet. Old enough to write (mostly) literate and coherent English. Old enough to have a desire to defend your opinions, even if you perhaps haven't considered the origins or ramifications of those opinions.'

C

Clare: Well, you see, there's this thing called "Inference" which goes by many other names such as "Jumping to a Conclusion" or "Deductions and Elementary"; sometimes it is called "The Interference of a Quantum Waveform upon a Common Reality Stimuli", but mostly only by me.
Well, the assumption here would be a well justified one - I read the beginning of the thread (albeit very briefly) and it seemed to me that you two were questioning your own faith.
Hoo does have a point, to be sure, and one that I won't argue with, being a beneficiary and all, but the sad fact is that we are living in world where not everyone agrees with Hoo, more's the pity.
"Prejudice," as someone's bound to have said, "is the sign of an ignorant mind," and ageism is pejudice, so who are you to claim you know everthing?
-m3

To be precise, Hoo was questioning our faith, I was questioning his questioning (and his toilet unicorn) and Patito was questioning Santa Claus.

"Prejudice," as someone's bound to have said, "is the sign of an ignorant mind," and ageism is pejudice, so who are you to claim you know everthing?
Is that a real question, an accusation or a warning?

Patito? hmmmph...
hello everyone! I am alive, contrary to rumour as clare told me. But i haven't been able to get online lately (sorry, stating the obvious). anyway, hello all. now i'm going to read the latest...
Jem

Fnord,
"No, see, the point is I was trying to avoid people finding out not because of what they'd say, but because of what they think."
If people appear to be friendly, and not take your age into account, I wouldn't waste time worrying about whether they really did judge you on your age but didn't show it. Also, if you don't want people to know your age, don't tell people it. Talking about exams is a dead giveaway too.

Duckie,
Hi! long time no Hootoo. Just about survived Greek by the way. Have fun chez the Grandmas!

I still have all my jewelery thank you very much!