h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hate the idea of love?

Ok, it goes like this:

Once upon a time, humans had four arms, four legs, two heads, but only one soul. So we were having a fantastic time, rolling around the place at massive speeds. Then one day, we decided to mount an assault on the Gods (this is Ancient Greek mythology, by the way), and attack Mount Olympus. So all the humans started rolling as fast as they could up the mountain, in order to do battle with the gods. Well, of course the Gods knew about this, so they were all fretting, saying "What shall we do?" and suchlike. Then Zeus said "All right, I'll split them all in half with a thunderbolt, so they have to walk everywhere. And if they keep on at it, I'll split them in half again, so they have to hop." So he does it. And the humans immediately stop and start moaping about. Because all the humans were scattered. So, from that day to this, each human must look around for their "other half", and make themselves whole again.

Nice story, but I prefer the alone-in-a-Godless-universe-and-need-to-pin-your-f**k-ups-on-someone version.
Here's another Greek Miff for ya.
One day, the Greek Gods and Goddesses and Heroes and Heroins and various assorted dudes and prostitutes decided to throw a bangin' party.
Some people they didn't invite, like Neptune, because he was a little fishy.
Another was Eris, otherwise known as Discordia, Goddess of Chaos. Neptune, because he was a little fishy, sat in his cockle shell and weeped like a little pussy fish.
But Eris got pissed and angry, so she went and gatecrashed the party, and said in a most terrible and loathsome voice, "OI!". So they all dutifully oi'd at her, most amazedly, for no one gatecrashes one of Athena's digs.
In the confusion, she chucked a golden apple made of marijuana into the room, and set it alight with her smouldering eyes and lit match. Then she giggled like a hung, drawn and quartered Furby and hummed to herself while she waited for it to take effect.
Presently it did, and all the Gods and Godesses and whatever went totally f****n' tripping, and thought that the Jelly was the basic stuff of the firmament, and so they made some people out of it, as a joke.
Those people bred, and became called the Humans, because the Gods had actually thought that the Jelly that was the Firmament was really Humous of Life.
(When they realised their mistake, of course, being stoned they laughed and laughed, and eventually they all laughed so hard they died. Except Eris, who stayed behind with her bitchy sister, Aneris, Order, to watch over the Humans.)
The flavour of the jelly was lime.
I hope that clears up a few things. But I can't guarantee that it'll help your cataracts.

You tell it like you're telling the history of a grudge between to mafia families. I can just imagine you with a gravelly New York accent, occasionally taking drags of your cigarette as you tell the story.

*Resurrects thread, hopefully, at least*

hi Roadkill!

Long time no see!

I quite liked the myth of how we became separated from ourselves and end up constantly seeking our 'other half'. Mind you, I am a hopeless romantic.

I love everything about love. I love being in love, I love loving, I just love it all.

What have you been up to lately?

az

Eyup az,

Nice to see you again.

Mainly, to do with University, me. Been looking round some London ones, they look nice. That and twenty sides on Dualism to do .

Yourself?

Roadkill,

Oh, just doing my usual 'survival' thing. Which is mostly boring.

I have to get my life going in a better direction. But for today I am washing curtains and windows (I have six balconies with window-doors) as this is the first sunny day in ages. So much for 'sunny Spain'! It's been wildly stormy and raining cats and dogs for more than a week.

You should check out the god thread. You might have a few good things to say there and that thread goes on and on and on . . .

az

Is this the God: Fact or Fiction thread?

I heard it stagnated a bit, people just stating their opinions really, in the end.

Which is pretty much my angle on it as well (influenced by Hume) - God is one of those things it is just not possible for humans to know about. In the end it's personal preference. For a while, as a result of that, I was agnostic, but I realized that was just a thin veil for my atheism, so I decided to cut the cr@p and call myself an atheist instead.

roadkill,

Yes, the god, fact or fiction thread. It goes through various changes here and there. Sometimes it is more lively than other times. But you can always just drop in and put forward a topic. Who knows, you might help liven things up a bit!

Re: being an agnostic. Yeah, I know what you mean. I always think of agnostics as 'fence sitters' - they are hedging their bets and not willing to make a decision. Much better to be an atheist or a Christian or - like me - a pantheist. At least that is *something*. I have no religion but I do have a personal god concept. I am sometimes made fun of on the god thread, but I don't care about that anymore. Especially when I read some of the nonsense so-called 'true believers' post. But it is often quite interesting there, so why not check it out?

az

I'll certainly go have a look.

Thanks for the tip.



It annoys me.... we have these debates at school, I'm always cast as a Creationist! Nothing annoys me more than being forced to scupper my very best arguments. Especially when I know that I'm using faulty logic to do so and I just want to scream that at them... "DON'T YOU SEE MY POINT BEGS THE QUESTION? UUAAAARGH!"

Roadkill,

How can you be seen as a creationist if you are an atheist???



az

I'm assigned a viewpoint when we do debates and am invariably assigned the creationist side, just to p*ss me off.

Well, why not pop into the God thread and say hello and state something about what you believe? We actually could use a bit of fresh blood.

az

If you stop in there now then I will show up to welcome you - how's that?

az

Is it on your page?

Lemme See...

I think I'm there....

Big hellos to you to - I thought this thread'd caught cholera and was being quarantined or something.
Me, personally - I prefer the lime flavoured jelly explanation
Feel free to stir things up a bit, Roadkill. It's in a slow period right now.
Hey, az. This new (well, old now) moniker's getting a bit annoying! Heathen Sceptic and a few others think I'm Math, and Chai's taken to calling me Mac, and it's all just too hard to keep track of! But I'm sticking with it.
Does anyone know what happened to Clair and Jem?

I don't seem to be very good at stirring things up, I'm better at stirring lime jelly.

Clare's not been on for a while, I've talked to her on MSN and she's got a lot of work. And you remember a while back she said she got a new bf? Well they live quite far apart so whenever they can see each other, they spend a lot of time together and not much else.

Jem's been banned from hootoo . Her parents weren't happy about her using it, it was distracting her from her schoolwork or something .

Is it possible to believe in a creator and disbelieve in religion?

Moth - I suspect that as long as you didn't *think* it was a religion, if you thought that it was solid absolute fact, yup.
No! Clare's gone! Jem's gone! And Hoo's too busy fighting his eternal battle with the authorities! Eek!
(PS - if you're as good a limejellystirrer as you claim, you might just be a deity. Look up your family history some time, check it out)