Uver Stuff
Created | Updated Feb 9, 2008
'Eres sum uver stuff wot I wrote...
Gangaji no doubt has the wisdom to know that, despite the differences, water really is just water and people really are just people. Rivers have their own characters due to the places they have been and all that they have experienced. If the Nile were to have an adventure in the Himalayas, it would have a lot to share with Gangaji by the time they both reach the Bay of Bengal. Still, it took Gangaji a long time to become so wise. Perhaps in time people will also become wise. We could learn a lot from rivers.
In short, it's the lumps in the 'melting pot' that make the national stew a tasty one.
The relative isolation of this backwater of the bustling Northeast has given the region a reputation for an almost xenophobic distrust of visitors from 'away'; however, the expansion of tourism into Maine's north, and its cratered roads less travelled by, has debunked the myth of a sullen hinterland populated by inbred cannibals... to a large extent. Weekenders from Boston are now fairly comfortable with the idea of venturing north along old Route 1, the coastal route to Canada, beyond the familiar haven of rocky Bar Harbor.
In Maine, as elsewhere, only the most obnoxious tourist chooses to stand out as such; the key to getting the most out of a visit to a strange place is by winning some measure of acceptance as an actual person and not an imbecile in a loud shirt with more money than sense.
Topiary is the horticultural practice of clipping plants into geometric shapes or sculpting them into forms that resemble animals. Many consider it a lost art; others consider it an eccentric waste of time that is better left carefully hidden to avoid tempting younger gardeners.
Espalier is a method of training woody plants to grow on a vertical plane, usually along a fence or wall, rather like horticultural bondage and discipline. It is most commonly used to gain a large yield of fruit in limited space. The term is also used to describe plants trained in this manner. Training doesn't imply that plants learn to grow as espalier in the sense that some children can be taught to do things.
Mary Anning was born on 21 May, 1799, in the unassuming seaside town of Lyme Regis, Dorset, in the south of England. Her family was poor; and, like other poor families, did what it had to do to survive. Luckily, fate had littered that part of the Dorset coast with a natural treasure, which the whims of fashion had turned into a modest source of income.
Mary Anning, like her neighbours, collected fossils on the beach to earn a penny or two for her family's sustenance. Unlike her neighbours, however, she became uncommonly good at it. And, despite her humble origins, Mary Anning went on to become a pioneer, as the cottage industry of fossil hunting evolved into the new science of palaeontology.
He removed his helmet to demonstrate that he was very much alive - both by being able to remove his helmet and by having a head - and then proceeded to throw a spear (as further proof) at Edric.
From The Art of Mascotry
Corrie ten Boom may be most familiar to readers of Christian literature for her words of inspiration. She was a woman of remarkable strength and character, who risked everything for her beliefs and for the welfare of strangers. She paid a terrible price for her convictions. But, in the end, rose above the ash and rubble of war-torn Europe, a glowing example of all to which the human spirit should aspire.
From "The Hiding Place" and Corrie ten Boom
The age and health of a mall can be reckoned fairly precisely by the proportion of discount stores, comic shops, and constituency offices of fringe party politicians in relation to popular franchise outlets.
There are usually several eating establishments ('restaurants'), offering assorted cuisine from greasy chicken and hamburgers to ersatz ethnic fair. What they have in common is their specific appeal to diners who are more concerned about their feet than their tummies... or their taste buds. Many malls feature 'food courts', in which an eclectic blend of tacos, chow mein, pizza, and chips are tried and justly condemned.
Mall walking is a rite of passage for teens, offering a chance to flirt, loiter, and shop for sneakers and acne cures. The press of humanity, especially the press of adolescent humanity of the opposite gender, imposed by the mall shopping experience is the perfect environment in which to strut one's newly acquired stuff, both anatomical and sartorial. If only the muzak was a little less geriatric! On the other hand, perhaps it's just as well that it is. While teens are often the last to be chased out by mall security guards at closing time, the elderly are flocking in increasing numbers to join mall walking clubs that offer a safe environment in which to take exercise, often before the shops are open in the morning.
From Shopping Malls
Some thought should also be given to the human component of business. Weighed against the desirability of adopting the most streamline and efficient corporate profile is the benefit to be gained by recognising the psychological needs of staff and customers, of understanding the discomfort naturally associated with imposed change and instability. There are enormous rewards to be gained by treating people like people, with respect and consideration. Similarly, respect and consideration is best earned by behaving like a reasonable person. A successful manager, like a skilled craftsperson, is one who understands his tools and wields them constructively and with discretion. One who is a slave to jingoism and cults, on the other hand, is like an imbecile with a hammer... more likely to make a mess of things and hurt people than produce anything of value.
From Quality in Business
Nothing else could be the official libation of the Kentucky Derby, the first jewel in the Triple Crown, and as vital a part of the 'run for the roses' as the horses doing the running. Churchill Downs would still be a temple without them, but not to the gods of gentility. There really can be no better way to toast the setting sun, reflected in the muddy waters of the Ohio river on a sultry Louisville evening, than by sipping bourbon through a thicket of fresh mint.
From Bourbon
Dustmen are the people who take away rubbish, trash, or garbage... the products of human existence not included in the job descriptions of undertakers or the police.
From Wheelie Bins
Metropolitan Los Angeles lies in a smoggy bowl, bisected by the Santa Monica Mountains. It is a seemingly endless vista of boulevards and strip malls, a surreal blend of porn shops and boutiques, a smorgasbord of glitz and sleaze. It is a tense crucible of class and racial conflict, built in a sun-baked tectonic popcorn popper, a La-la land of wealth and broken dreams.
And...
Rodeo Drive, where the gladiators of chic do battle.
An even more primitive type of can opener is the type that operates on the principle of 'Radical Redistribution of Matter Based on Misplaced trust'.This is the same force that causes a dramatic local increase in entropy when applied to car keys. This works by resting a non-cutting loop of steel against the top of a can, then suddenly stabbing the can with the attached steel claw, and wrenching the device back and forth in an insane frenzy of can opening violence. Extreme care must be used to ensure that the amount of Misplaced Trust in the can is not exceeded by the Misplaced Trust of the operator. This type of can opener is to be avoided.
If there is nothing more fulfilling in your life than your screensaver, it's time to make some serious changes... beyond installing a new screensaver.
From Screen Savers
Other types of paper punches are designed for making holes in such things as tickets and subscription cards. Ticket punches cut holes, wedges, or sometimes quite complex shapes. They are used by officials to show recognition and acceptance of the ticket bearer, which is almost always a good thing. Holes punched into subscription cards may mean that you don't have to worry about making a payment for a certain period; or that you will soon be entitled to something for which you haven't specifically paid, such as a free cup of coffee or a sandwich; which is also, in general terms, a good thing.
From Hole Punches
If the squirrels in your attic turn out to be chickens, knowing that your ancestors stored surplus eggs in ash may prove to be more valuable than your friends and co-workers would have you believe.
From The Storage of Eggs
You could never get your cat to mate with your African Violet, for example.
From Frankenstein Foods
The Taj Mahal, located near the Indian city of Agra, is one of the world's greatest architectural treasures. The almost supernatural beauty of the Taj Mahal and its grounds transcends culture and history, and speaks with a voice of its own to visitors from all over the world of feelings that are common to all humanity.
From The Taj Mahal
Situated at the mouth of the river Tamar, where Devon meets Cornwall between Dartmoor and the sea, Plymouth is the gateway to a landscape of country lanes and quaint villages, thatched cottages and country inns that is the very definition of England to its many international visitors. Plymouth is the largest city in the southwest of England, with a population of roughly 250,000. It has one of the finest natural harbours in the UK, where vessels of every description can be seen, from tiny pleasure craft to commercial fishing boats to ships of the Royal Navy.
From Plymouth, Devon, UK
In Ethiopia, coffee is a sensual affair. A small charcoal brazier, in which tiny amounts of frankincense and perfumed sandlewood are burned, is placed on a brightly painted lacquered table. This creates the correct frame of mind and heightens one's senses before the coffee arrives. The beans are brought to the table, roasting in a iron pot. A little of the precious aroma is released into the air to blend with the perfumed smoke of the brazier. They are whisked away to be ground, before too much of their essence is lost. At last, the coffee is brought to the table in a long-necked earthenware pot. It is thick and dark... almost oily. It is sipped - savoured - from small cups, sweetened with course sugar. Fresh popcorn is eaten in order to refresh the palate.
From Coffee
Newtown, Sydney, Australia has been described as a place that has everything in a size to fit anyone, a rich cultural tapestry of harmonious diversity... But where's a fella supposed to get a drink?
And...
Berroca effervescent vitamin tablets are dissolved in water to produce a fizzy drink reputed to be a morning after remedy for a wild night before.
From Watering Holes in Newtown, Sydney, Australia
Making excuses is something we all have to do, unless you happen to be one of those saintly types that everyone admires but nobody can honestly stand. Excuses are a part of being merely human, a way of showing that you really are trying to keep up a standard that everyone acknowledges is hopelessly beyond the reach of ordinary, everyday life.
From Excuses
American television producers of the 1960s, such as Irwin Allen and Gene Roddenberry, made a bold and controversial political statement in casting black actors in leading roles, which may be hard to appreciate from the enlightened perspective of the beginning of the 21st Century; and actors like Don Marshall and Nichelle Nichols played a significant role in the civil rights revolution that should not be underestimated.
From Land of the Giants
If there was to be a 'Best Element in the World' contest, what would the contenders be? Would gold, the incorruptable corruptor, the unspoiled temptor and catalyst of destruction beguile us into crowning her? Perhaps talented Krypton or Argon could dazzle us with a laser show. Or could Hydrogen win through on congeniality points? On the other hand, could any of them be more impressive than Sodium?
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