h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

"The most common and basic staple removers are reasonably cheap, but are best guarded in the office environment. Like staplers, they have a habit of disappearing very quickly and quite suddenly if left openly on a desk top. The common need to staple together and ply apart documents means that fellow officer workers, passing an unattended desk with a staple remover, will invariably pick it up, use it, and then forget to return it to your desk."

As a young engineer in a large company, I asked the department secretary (the daughter-in-law of the company executive vice president) if I could take the staple remover from the supply shelves back to my office for a while. She replied, "NO! that is the DEPARTMENT staple remover!" I used my Swiss Army knife to pry the staples out ...