Balwyniti Court Circular #2
Created | Updated Feb 13, 2002
Welcome to the Second Balwyniti Court Circular as prepared by the Royal Court Reporter.
Balwyniti, for those not yet fortunate enough to visit, is a small kingdom, (turn right at the third star then staight on 'til morning). It is an old fashioned Monarchy, with King Cthuhlu in firm control.
The King, Citizens and Kingdom of Balwyniti would offer their love and condolences to all people everywhere, touched by the tragedy of September 11.
Life in Balwynity has been placid and peaceful. There was some consternation among the Kings subjects when it was discovered that the King was suffering from a serious indisposition. However, with lots of TLC and chocolate milk, he appears to have made a full recovery.
Your intrepid reporter has risked life and limb to take photos of the 
that haunts Balwyniti. However, while they are lovely portraits of the kingdom's resident silver dragon, the appears only as an indistinct grey area, and so the photos will not be published.
The Old Balwyniti Football Ground looks deserted in the evening sun with the statue of Colonel Quentin Farquart-Badminton-Squash and his wife glowing golden against the backdrop of granite and weatherboard stands. There was some talk a while ago of a revival of this ancient game and a coach was engaged to look into the possibility of finding the 22 strong and true citizens to rekindle the lost art of convincing and basket protecting. But, alas, insufficient interest has forced it to be put onto the back burner until next winter rekindles the flame.
With Summer fast approaching, the Balwyniti Cricket Club is sending out a call for all those able to wreak havoc with the willow and spin the red leather cherry, to join King Cthulhu, Cafram, TJ and the rest of the team at the Clubhouse. Matches are purely social, with no bodyline bowling or betting allowed, and pitch reports are done strictly on a volunteer basis. A good time is had by all and the after match celebration is generally held over a glass of 
and a 
or ice cream, with expert commentary provided.
The DNA Memorial 
Sanctuary is an arachnaphobics nightmare but, for the rest of us, it is an education in the gentle art of spider nurturing. Run by Princess Broelan, it has the best amenities of any sanctuary that I have visited on my travels and the Medi Centre is state-of-the-art. Remember to sign the visitors book and an offering of flies and mosquitos is always welcome.
