How to Make a Low-grease Cheeseburger-like Sandwich Content from the guide to life, the universe and everything

How to Make a Low-grease Cheeseburger-like Sandwich

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Cheeseburgers. Don't they taste good? This Researcher thinks they do, anyway, and he's come up with a recipe that makes a cheap, easy, low-grease cheeseburger-like sandwich, in the comfort of your own home - basically a grilled cheese sandwich with roast beast1.



Prepare your Tools

  1. Take a non-stick skillet that will hold the bread and place it on the burner of your stove.

  2. Get a knife and a spatula3 out; place them on a plate for now, since you don't need them until you actually start.

Prepare your Ingredients

  1. Use the knife to spread butter (or margarine) on one side of each slice of bread.

  2. Place the cheese and roast beast in between the slices to make a sandwich; the butter should be on the outside of the sandwich, not the inside - the buttered side faces out. This is what makes the sandwich an attractive, tasty, gold colour - that 'Midas touch'.

  3. Put your sandwich in the skillet on the burner.

Cook It!

  1. Turn on the burner to a medium-low temperature; use the spatula to flip the sandwich every minute or so until it is a nice golden-brown on the outside.

  2. Turn the burner off and move the sandwich onto a plate; use the knife (again) to cut the sandwich into triangles4.


You made it; eat it! Hopefully, the cheese should be melted to the bread and meat; eat it while it's still warm. Best if served with Campbell's Tomato Soup (use milk instead of water; it's good that way. Add some cheese, too).

Alternative Ideas

A sesame-seed bun instead of buttered bread is rumoured to be a good substitute. If you want a real cheeseburger, instead of some stupid little luncheon meat sandwich, fry up some ground beast (ground turkey's quite good, too) - the amount you want on a sandwich - pressing it semi-flat into a skillet on medium heat. Turn, press, turn, press, and eventually it will end up hot, cooked, and tasty. Add one slice of cheese, and voilĂ ! You have a real cheeseburger.

1Roast beef - deli-sliced!2 Most brands come pre-sliced and in their own wrappers. That is the right size of slice. If you want to use another type of cheese, go for it... but this Researcher can't guarantee any decent results.3 Metal and plastic are OK, as long as they can handle the heat.4 Or pentagons, or squares if you have to. Decagons are pretty, but hexagons tile best.

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