h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Although I am by no means a scholar in the discipline of thumb twiddling, I do partake of this harmless activity from time to time in order to releave stress and pass unscheduled freetime.

However, I find that a simple straightforward twiddling or reverse twiddling is sometimes not enough. Do alternatives exist, such as changing speeds or directions, that could add to the overall experience?

I personally prefer to twiddle at the highest speed possible, and find that the forward twiddle allows me a higher thumb velocity. However, some perfectionists may not like the manner of this high-speed twiddle, as the tips of the thumbs follow a rather elliptical trajectory. In contrast, my reverse twiddle has my thumb tips follow a more circular trajectory, but I am unable to achieve the same maximum tip speed.

Have you tried the contact variety?

Also, there's the knuckle twuddle ... rather than the tips of your thumbs being twiddled, move your thumbs closer together and twiddle the knuckles - it gives a decidedly bizarre feeling, as I've just discovered ...

Twiddlers - on the cutting edge of world discoveries

The contact variety is incredibly frustrating to me. It's like trying to run while tripping yourself up.

But when done properly, you can sometimes make sparks from the friction. Go on, try it! Sit in a dark closet and twiddle, see what happens!

BY THE GODS!!!

Is it possible that we have just stumbled upon THE great secret to THE pleantiful electrical energy supply? Will this be the dawning of a new age in energy resources? Will this forever end the divisions between those with electric ovens and those with gas ovens? Will Humanity at last twiddle its way into the stars to take its place amongst the Great Intergalactic Thumb Twiddlers--plying Twiddle Space on their way to attend Olypian Thumb Wrestling events. The dream shall be realized!



Or perhaps I shall make myself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

*begins working on the worlds first Twiddle Powered Generator*

Ah...But it will not be the last, my friend, it will not be the last...

Keep the dream alive...

Twiddle those thumbs for a new tomorrow...

(And remember to donate handsomly to the Twiddle Foundation, care of, uh, me. No personal checks please.)

What was that address again?

*writes out an extremely large cheque (for an extremely small amount of money), puts it in a packing crate and sends it to The FlyingHogFish*

You'll pay the freight when it gets there, won't you FlyingHogFish?

Anything for Twiddle Power.

I envision an entire planet powered by twiddle power. Once all of Humanity is twiddling, we will genetically engineer a wide range of animals with thumbs (not necessarially on their hands/paws/hooves) and they two will help supply the power to propel us into the stars...

Keep twiddling.


[That means you, with the orange shirt. Get back to twiddling!]

::: looks at shirt, sees it's grey, breathes sigh of relief :::

Not you! That guy over there! Behind you! Make him twiddle! My toaster is losing power!

This is NOT an orange shirt.......

It's apricot!

*twiddles*

Due to the failure of our people to provide enough Twiddle Power (TM) to illuminate my lava lamp, I have empowered the Twiddle Energy Concern to create the Office of Motivation. The OoM will make certain, by various politically incorrect means, that Twiddle Power (TM) is supplied in sufficient quantities at all times, so as not to suffer again the disaster of 2001.10.08 when my alarm clock failed to wake me. Therefore, as of 2001.10.10, the OoM is looking for an Officer in Chief of Motivational Activities (OiCoMA). Please send any resumes to this conversation. Good luck, and never stop twiddling. I mean it. If my computer shuts down, how will I check H2G2?

Twiddlepathically?

An excellent suggestion.

I hearby appoint Shea the Sarcastic to the Department of Twiddlepathy (DoT) in Office of Twiddle-based Psionics and Other Neat Things (OoTbPONT).

We still seek a officer for the Office of Motivation. Come on and help inspire the galley sla--I mean hard working--though quite relaxed--thumb twiddlers.

Oh my goodness! I don't know what to say! What an honor! I'll endeavor to do my Twiddliest in this new position!

*applauds a much deserved honour*

::: bows deeply, twiddles vigorously :::