A Conversation for Coming Out
Coming out advice needed
Dengarm Started conversation Mar 28, 2003
Hi. I need some advice.
I want to come out. I am still in high school, my junior year. My school is mostly tolerent(I live in Southern California). I really only have three options on who to tell first. They are
-A. A straight friend. He is the friend I trust the most. However he hate the only other openly gay person he knows. I don't blame him I hate him too. He's not a nice person. But I'm not sure if how homophobic he is. I have tried to drop little tests in to casual conversation but I can make nothing of them.
-B Another straight friend. He is a dancer and I know he is accepting of gay people. He is also Muslim and knows how discrimination is. But I have herd him gossip some things that he shouldnt have. Some things that were very private. I want to come out slowly and don't want it leaked. So far everyone assumes that I am straight.
-C Someone who used to be my best friend. I moved away from him 2 years ago, but I still keep in touch by phone and we visit each other twice a year. I know he is accepting of gay people. I also know he can't leak it to anyone down here. He also can be very reassuring.
So, will someone please advise me on who to tell first and how to tell them? Please reply soon!
Thank you.
Coming out advice needed
Fragilis - h2g2 Cured My Tabular Obsession Posted May 7, 2003
Sorry I'm getting back to you so late, Dengarm. I visit this site less often these days, though I was very active when I wrote the entry where you started this conversation.
Maybe by now this is a moot issue now! If it isn't, I would recommend coming out to your distant friend C first. Your chance of acceptance is high and the risk of gossip is relatively low.
From there, you might try A or B. I would probably try A first. Generally speaking, I find that when you're not sure what someone's reaction would be, it's usually better rather than worse. This is especially true in a climate like Southern California. But trust your gut instincts! I don't know the people involved, and you do.
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