h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Oh me lads, you should have heard us coming
fastest team in the land, you should have seen us running,
all the lads and lasses with smiles upon their faces,
are walking down the Farrar Road, to see the Bangor aces.


Bangor boys, can you hear us,
with a goal you can cheer us,
we're walking along,
singing our song,
Bangor is a football wonderland.


Hello! Hello!
We are the Bangor Boys
Hello! Hello!
We are the Bangor boys
and if you are a Cofi
surrender or you die
we all follow the Bangor

At Notts County we chant "I had a wheel barrow, the Wheel fell off, I had a wheel barrow, the Wheel fell off" over and over and over again.
Heaven knows why.

Livzy, you forgot

Oh Bangor Aye,
Oh Bangor Aye,
Oh Bangor Aye,
Oh Aye

ad infinitum

and talking of Blaydon Races ... at Wrexham we used to sing

Marriott throws the ball to Hardy,
Hardy out to Peter Ward
and Peter Ward to Connolly,
Connolly goes down the wing with noone there to stop him
Puts the ball up in the air
For super Stevie Watkin!

that was until Marriott went to Sunderland, Ward was given a free transfer, Connolly went to QPR and Watkin went to Swansea

and Pruney's latest to the tune of Bony M's classic "Brown Girl in the ring"

Clive Brown on the line, la, la, la, la, la
We've got Clive Brown on the line, la,la,la,la,la,la
Clive Brown on the line, la,la,la,la,la
He looks like a Cofi but he's not (not, not)

and speaking of Cofis
(to the tune of Que sera sera)

When I was just a little boy
I asked my mother "What will I be?
Will I be yellow?
Will I be blue?"
Heres what she said to me
"Wash your mouth out son,
and go fetch your fathers gun
and shoot all the Cofi scum
shoot the Cofi scum"

and last years immortal semi final chant

His name is Dave Elias
He fiddles this and that
he's trying to ruin our football club
he is a f***ing tw*t

Commonly heard when I was 18, to the tune of the Monkees "Daydream Believer":

Cheer up Kevin Keegan,
Oh what can it mean,
To a sad Geordie b*****d,
And a s***e football team.

and also, though no longer appropriate since Middlesbrough left Ayrsome Park (where the Hallgate was a home supporter's stand) for the BT-Cellnet Riverside Stadium:

If you're feeling gloomy and if you're feeling sad,
Just step into the Hallgate and you won't feel so bad,
Coz when you're in the Hallgate you'll hear the mighty roar,
"F**k off you Geordie b****d and don't come back no more."

"We're not really here,
We're not really here,
Just like the fans of the invisible man,
We're not really here!"

sung by Man City fans. I don't know why.

remember this?

'GOERGE BEST...
SUPERSTAR....
WALKS LIKE A WOMAN.....
AND WEARS A BRA....
BRA'S TOO BIG.....
WEARS A WIG.....
THAT'S WHY....
HE'S AN UGLY PIG!!!!!!!'

I remember singing that. You're showing your age there, magoogy - and mine!

i bet u sang that while wearing ur ra-ra skirt lol.....

too right i feel old!!!!

whats ur asl? im 33f bradfordxxxxxx

Ricky's f***ing magic,
He wears a magic hat
and when he saw the Bangor
he said "I francy that"
he didnt sign for Aber
or barry coz they're sh*te
he signed for Bangor City
coz we are dynamite!

How about one heard ringing throught the terraces of the West Country:

I can't read and I can't write, but none of that does matter
'Cos I come from the West Country
And I can drve a tractor

That one to the tuine of my old mans a dustman reminds me of a sunderland chant that broke out when Alan Shearer was spotted in the Sky hospitality box at an FA Cup game earlier this season:

"Shearer is a w***er
He wears a w***er's hat
He plays for scum united
He is a f***ing t**t

He's s**t for scum united
Almost every night
And when he played for England he
was always f***ing s***e"

There's quite a few that go to that tune aren't there? One of my faves from York City's financial struggles in the 02/03 season had the same tune :

Douglas Craig's a d**khead,
He wears a d**khead's hat.
And Swallow is a b@5t@rd,
And Batchelor's a tw*t!

All the characters are villians who nearly killed the club, 2 ex-chairmen and a director. We also had :

Hey, he-ey Dougie!
You tw*t!
I wanna know oh-oh-oh
Where the money's gone

I can explain this.

Several years ago (when my beloved blues were particularly pants) we had the misfortune to be relegated to the third tier of English Pro football (for the first time in our history) .

The 'invisible man' chant came into being around this point as we were suffering from a little bit of suspension disbelief - we couldn't believe we had sunk that far. Shades of 'We're not really watching Division 3 football are we'?

Oddly enough, the fans continued to turn up in their droves.

I remember that. When Citeh got relegated their attendance actually went up! I remember talking to a Citeh fan who told me he enjoyed those seasons so much because he got to go to so many new grounds.
You got to hand it to their fans. They're nothing if not loyal.

My own favourite is sung to the tune of Love Will Tear us Apart by New Order:

Giggs, Giggs will you apart again...

Mat (obviously a red)

Couple of my Favourites are:
------------------------------------------------------------
Matt Le Tiss Matt Le Tiss gets the ball and takes the p**s
--------------------------------------------------------------
When I was a little boy I asked my Mother what shall I be, will I be Saints or will be Pompey. This what she said to me

Wash your mouth out son, and get your fathers gun, and shoot the Pompey scum, and be forever Saints

We hate Pompey, we hate Pompey.
---------------------------------------------------------------
Fratton Park is falling down, falling down Fratton Park is falling down, bye bye Pompey.

Build it up with Red & White, Red & White, bye bye Pompey
-----------------------------------------------------------------
6'2" Eyes of Blue Jimmy Steel is after you.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Guess which Team I support?

Current chant. Due to Clive Woodward being at the club for a while.

'Swing Lowe, sweet Rupert Lowe, hanging from the Itchen Bridge'.

Or 'Are you watching, are you watching are you watching Rupert Lowe'?

The latter sung whenever Saints play badly. Nearly all the time these days worst luck!

'Oh when the Saints' sung very slowly, sends shivers down my spine!