A Conversation for Some American Junk Food Classics
Where is all the junk food I know?
Lentilla (Keeper of Non-Sequiturs) Started conversation Mar 15, 2001
I have to say that this entry does not cover the subject of junk food properly - if that is its goal.
There's a whole pantheon of tooth-rotting, cholesterol-laden products that have been neglected.
In the sweet cakes category:
• Twinkies - shelf life of five years.
• Ding-dongs - your basic chocolate cupcake with a cream filling & choco icing
• Pink Snowballs - probably the most disgusting confection ever created, it's a sponge cake ball with cream filling and a coating of coconut stained pink.
Salty Munchies:
• Goldfish are not sweets.
• Cheese Whiz - where is the cheese whiz? This is the ultimate in American schmaltz!
• Cheetoes & Fritos - any junk food summary should include these
• Peanuts. Your average American male wouldn't be caught dead in front of the TV without peanuts and a six-pack.
Candy:
• Okay, so where's the Sugar Daddies (or Babies) and the Whoppers?
• Hershey's may suck in comparison to Cadbury's, but their kisses are awfully nice... But I prefer the hundreds of other candy bars available, like Snickers, Almond Joy, Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, etc. (Urp... Well, not all at once!)
Lentilla - Junk food expert...
Where is all the junk food I know?
Shea the Sarcastic Posted Mar 15, 2001
Pink Snowballs! I just saw some Green Snowballs - all decked out for St. Patrick's Day!
And you want junky candy? How about Circus Peanuts? What are those things made of, anyway? Dots! Eat paper with every bite! And wax lips!
I'm getting a belly ache...
Where is all the junk food I know?
Lentilla (Keeper of Non-Sequiturs) Posted Mar 17, 2001
And how could we forget... Marshmallow peeps. Yuck!
Where is all the junk food I know?
Shea the Sarcastic Posted Mar 17, 2001
I LOVE marshmallow peeps! I like to wait to eat them until they get a little stale...
FYI: marshmallow peeps are basically marshmallows shaped like chicks that are covered in yellow-dyed sugar. They come in pink-sugared bunnies too. Mmmm!
Where is all the junk food I know?
Güthwinë Posted Mar 24, 2001
Actually, from what I have heard, Twinkies, kept in a cool, dry place for up to *ten* years are still *INDISTINGUISHABLE* from their freshly-bought counterparts.
*shudder*
Marshmallow peeps are wonderful! They're so much fun. In chemistry class in high school we put them in a vacuum chamber to watch them grrroooowwww!!! Was great fun.
Now, if anyone want to write an article on American food-related travesties, they need look no further than Potted Meat Food Product, produced by Hormel. I know it's not quite junk food, but it is certainly abhorrent to the highest degree.
*SHUDDER*
Güthwinë
Where is all the junk food I know?
Lentilla (Keeper of Non-Sequiturs) Posted Mar 27, 2001
There's several varieties of potted meats (combined fragments of various animals stuck together with gelatin & jellied meat juice): Treet and Spam are the most popular. Oddly enough, I LOVE fried Spam. Cut the pieces thin, then fry them until they're almost black on both sides. Toast your bread of choice and slather mustard, apply fried Spam, and eat. Yum!
Any other form causes me to gag.
The worst canned meat product has to be Vienna Sausages. Not only are they tasteless and unappetizing in texture, they so closely resemble a small boy's you-know-what that I just can't bring myself to put them in my mouth. Urp!
- Lentilla
Where is all the junk food I know?
Lentilla (Keeper of Non-Sequiturs) Posted Mar 28, 2001
Yum, a banger! (hee hee!)
Where is all the junk food I know?
Güthwinë Posted Mar 29, 2001
Mmmm... spam is delicious. Actually, I have a friend whose father worked as a meat inspector. According to him, Spam is actually made of relatively high-quality pork, rather than the scraps that go into most potted meats.
Mmm.. spamburger.
Güthwinë.
Where is all the junk food I know?
NexusSeven Posted Mar 29, 2001
Wasn't there an urban myth that the fearsome level of preservatives in winkies was having the effect that the corpses of dedicated Twinkie-guzzlers weren't decaying properly and were still basically intact ten years later or something similar?
Quite a horrid thought - mummification through excess Twinkie consumption!
Where is all the junk food I know?
NexusSeven Posted Mar 29, 2001
Ooops - 'Twinkies', not 'winkies' obviously. All this talk of you-know-whats has clearly scrambled my brain...
Where is all the junk food I know?
Shea the Sarcastic Posted Mar 29, 2001
Perfectly understandable!
I'm working toward ingesting enough preservatives during my lifetime that my family won't have the added burden of paying for my embalment after I die. Am I considerate, or what?
Where is all the junk food I know?
Lentilla (Keeper of Non-Sequiturs) Posted Mar 30, 2001
I seem to recall that the average junk food addict will have about three pounds of coal tar in their systems... Can't be true, can it?
Where is all the junk food I know?
Mr. Cogito Posted Apr 11, 2001
Hello,
I think we need some separate articles or a large addendum for several notable American snack food sensations. I'm thinking about Peeps, TastyKakes, Mallomars, etc. myself, although I'm sure we can think of some more. And I have a trivia filling too! Did you know that NYC eats 70% of all Mallomars? Or that the Peeps factory has two lines: one that makes Peeps year-round, the other that does seasonal shapes.
Spam is gross, but it has nothing on Armours' "Pork Brains in Milk Gravy", a serving of which fills 1270% the RDA for cholesterol.
Yours,
Jake
Key: Complain about this post
Where is all the junk food I know?
- 1: Lentilla (Keeper of Non-Sequiturs) (Mar 15, 2001)
- 2: Shea the Sarcastic (Mar 15, 2001)
- 3: Lentilla (Keeper of Non-Sequiturs) (Mar 17, 2001)
- 4: Shea the Sarcastic (Mar 17, 2001)
- 5: Güthwinë (Mar 24, 2001)
- 6: Lentilla (Keeper of Non-Sequiturs) (Mar 27, 2001)
- 7: Shea the Sarcastic (Mar 27, 2001)
- 8: Lentilla (Keeper of Non-Sequiturs) (Mar 27, 2001)
- 9: Shea the Sarcastic (Mar 27, 2001)
- 10: Lentilla (Keeper of Non-Sequiturs) (Mar 28, 2001)
- 11: Güthwinë (Mar 29, 2001)
- 12: NexusSeven (Mar 29, 2001)
- 13: NexusSeven (Mar 29, 2001)
- 14: Shea the Sarcastic (Mar 29, 2001)
- 15: Lentilla (Keeper of Non-Sequiturs) (Mar 30, 2001)
- 16: Mr. Cogito (Apr 11, 2001)
- 17: Shea the Sarcastic (Apr 11, 2001)
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