h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Not that we need to hash out yet another version of the fight between British and American English, but as an American, I take umbrage with the term "squirt cheese." Most folks I know call it, in the fine American tradition of Kleenex and Q-Tips, by the most popular brand of this product: "Cheez-Whiz." Also, I'm afraid I have no idea what you mean by "goldfish sweets." Do you mean gummy(i?) fish, the aquatic relative of the similarly sticky and stretchy bears, or do you mean Pepperidge Farm Goldfish crackers? I think, in this entry, that the American terms for these products should win out over British ones, since this is an American "bag of goodies" (another term that seems weird to my American ears) we're talking about here.

Great entry, though.

I wondered about that as well. Are they the red fish you can buy for a penny? I'd always called them 'Sweedish Fish' though I don't know why.

I thought the entry referred to Pepperidge farm fish, but I could be mistaken. Why did I always assume Swedish Fish came from Sweden?

Thanks for the feedback - one or two comments

The feeling in the threads is that junk food should replace goodies - sounds scrummy to me.

As to the terms used in the entry, they come straight from the horses mouth, so to speak. If you remember, we had an American intern, Dave, at the Towers last year and on his departure his parents sent us a hamper full of junk food classics and a letter explaining what each one is... This entry is their letter verbatim.

Dave's parents aren't Researchers but we felt that the knowledge in the letter deserved a wider audience.

I wouldn't dare assume to know anything about the wonderful world of American junk food

I remain your humble Brit.

You're probably better off!

Or at least a bit slimmer!

And with more of your original teeth left!
All in all, far more attractive than WITH American junk food!

Hey - I work hard to get that archetypal, crooked and stained British smile....

Now there's an idea for a new smiley

And oh so very distinctive!

Enlighten me - just what is the process you go through to get that perfect smile...

I tell you why:

One of my sisters was a scabby, little thing when she was a child and had the most horrid, crooked set of gnashers God ever endowed on a child. She never brushed her teeth and ate all manner of sugary treats etc. However, by the age of thirteen, with no assistance whatsoever, her teeth straightened and are actually perfect (she does brush them now).

Me, being a real mummy's boy, brushed my teeth twice daily and never over indulged in sweets et al. I, however, had really painful teeth.

What I want to know is, how do you get that perfect smile, what is the process?

BTW - I will always rem,ember that episode in the Simpsons when they are shown the Great Book of British smiles... oh how very near the mark <biggrin

Sounds like you dove into the wrong end of the gene pool!

What exactly were you brushing with all that time?
You really shouldn't be using sandpaper...

4 out of 5 dentists recommend lots of sweets.