h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: The London Underground - A9170138
Author: AlexAshman (2nd year medical student and h2g2 Scout) - U566116


This is an update to A48502, adding some more information about the tube and how to use it, along with some new facts and revisions of old sections.
With thanks to U115522 for the info about interchanges (F1959886?thread=603524)

Alex

Dang, that entry sure as hell does need updating

"The energy is generated by burning natural gas and low distillate oil, and the network uses 1091 gigawatts hours3 of electricity per year. Needless to say, this is a good reason not to walk on the rails"
Firstly - 'gigawatt hours'
Secondly - what voltage do the trains run on and how many amps would a train typically draw? That would be worth adding before 'Needless to say, this is a good reason not to walk on the rails'

"and passengers are should do the following"
'and passengers should do the following'

"and so it is pumped out of the tunnels by 1030 pumps"
'and so it is removed from the tunnels by 1,030 pumps'
(Or something similar)

"the Thames Barrier means this should no longer be a threat"
For a while, presumably.

"The Underground is surprisingly safe"
Why 'surprisingly'? I've always thought that safety on public transport is something that the British take for granted - and demand - because of the importance given to it by the people who run the railways and bus networks... because we expect it (can you say 'chicken and egg'? ). That (I believe) is why major rail crashes and the like are such big news stories - it's an indication of how rare they are and the shock and surprise we feel when it happens.

forty minute tube journey - forty-minute (I think)

"such as loitering in front of the ticket barrier and escalators only to be trampled on by commuters, getting in the way of the closing doors"
'such as loitering in front of the ticket barrier and escalators (only to be trampled on by commuters), getting in the way of the closing doors'

"will send them off towards Amersham"
How about a humorous footnote explaining that Amersham is just about as far from anywhere as you can get on the Underground?

"Some tips for catching trains at Earl's Court station"
Those aren't really tips, more an explanation of what happens every day at the station, no doubt several times a day.

"It's just a dinky little station with one platform, but it's cute"
Don't 'dinky' and 'cute' mean the same thing? Man, the differences between the original content and your own are like chalk and cheese, Alex. I'd be tempted to ditch or heavily rewrite almost all of the existing entry.

Like the section about Morden - complete waste of database kB that leave the reader thinking

"Due to the way in which the Northern line...", "The station is well-known due to its strange location"
Let's switch one of those 'due to's for a 'because' shall we?

If you are a women you will be groped - woman

Don't, what ever you do, stick you hand in the door - whatever

The front of train signs - front-of-train

"how a train that's due in 1 minute can still be due three minutes late"
'how a train that's due in one minute has still not arrived three minutes later'

Ok, changes made (Is suprisingly --> remarkably ok?)

I've been trying not to overhaul the old stuff as I don't want to be seen as taking over the entry too much

Alex

"Is suprisingly --> remarkably ok?"
Remarkably so

"and consists of over consists of over 400 escalators"
Got some fluff on your needle?

"which carry nearly 4000 carriages"
"The tube system requires almost 4,000 trains"
4,000 trains and 40,000 carriages or 4,000 carriages and 400 trains (assuming 10 carriages per train)?

and its own species of rats - rat

maps onboard trains - on board

"Follow the signs to the appropriate platform, making use of stairs, escalators and lifts as appropriate"
How about changing the second 'appropriate' to 'necessary' (or something similar), to avoid repetition?

"Finds Caledonian Road (B6) and London Bridge (D6) on the map."
You should probably explain what B6 and D6 refer to so as not to leave the reader wondering what they mean. A footnote would be appropriate I reckon.

"The two types of trains can be seen"
I'm willing to be corrected on this, but I reckon 'train' should be singular, since 'types' is plural. This is where I really wish I knew all about object and subject and all that fancy-schmancy English usage theory, instead of just having a knack for spotting mistakes.

"The Underground first began"
Is there such a thing as a 'second began'? Unless there's an interruption, of course, such as 'The BBC first began broadcasting television pictures to the public in 1936 but the service was interrupted by the war and they second began a television service after the end of hostilities'.

I like the info you've added about the voltage, but my Dad (an electrician) used to say that it's not the volts that kill you it's the amps (although the volts aren't too pleasant to deal with either ), and we often see rats and mice running along the live rail (and birds landing on it) with no harmful effect at all. If you could find out how many amps can be drawn from the rails (ie how many amps a train draws) I reckon you'd avoid any posts from elctricians banging on about amps and volts in the entry's forum when it gets updated.

"and passengers should do the following"
Either change 'passengers' to 'you', or change 'you' to 'them' in the list below that quote, so that the two match up.

I've been trying to think of a better word than 'paths' to describe where an underground stream runs, and the only word I can up with is 'courses'. You wouldn't say 'the path of the River Thames', for instance. But 'courses' sort of breaks up the flow (no pun intended) of the sentence...

"and Embankment station lying perilously close to the Thames"
'and Embankment station lying perilously close to the river'
(We already know by now that it's the Thames that's being described and it's been mentioned by name a couple of times).

Is Embankment the only one, btw? What about Temple, Westminster and a handful of others along that stretch of the Circle Line?

"Definitely the best looking station on the Underground"
Firstly, it's 'best-looking'. Secondly, (and I'm going to make a 'Gosho statement' here if you're watching, Bomba ) that's a matter of opinion. How about changing 'Definitely' to 'Reputedly', or 'Thought by some'?

"The change from lifts to escalators meant that the station entrance was moved uphill onto Islington High Street"
Was that really cause and effect? Did they really have to change the entrance just because they wanted to use escalators?

"Angel is also probably London's ultimate fashion observatory"
Except maybe for Camden Town on Saturday and Sunday. Or Leicester Square on a Saturday night. Or Sloane Square any time. Yeah I know - it's original material written when standards were lower, but it's still debatable. Didn't Number 6 write an entry about Camden Town tube station? Ah yes - A3813941

"The penalty fare on London Transport has risen recently to £20"
That will need to be updated when it rises again. How about a less time-dependent wording?

"where the width of the walkway tunnels means that there is no room"
Maybe this is just me, but when I hear 'width' I think of something being roomy. If it's the opposite I expect something like 'narrowness', which isn't really a good (or proper?) word. How about 'where the relatively narrow walkway tunnels'?

"The question is how they recognise the tube stations, and can this knowledge be written into tourist guide books"
'Two questions arise from this... unorthodox behaviour: how do they recognise the tube stations, and can this knowledge be written into tourist guide books?'

"They will always shout, often smell, and will always sit next to you"
I'd sugest changing the first 'always' to something else so that the impact of 'always sit next to you' isn't minimised.

"They close without warning... ...Don't rely on warnings"


That entire section - although quite humorous in a Douglas Adams kind of way - is not really factual. Can you imagine the lawsuits if it was?

" or will actually tell you to 'check destination' instead of actually telling you"
Too many 'actually's.

The second para of the 'Information Systems' section is also rather dubious and obviously written inna DNA stylee. I can understand why you'd want to keep it in the entry as a legacy, but it falls short of what the Guide is supposed to do - give accurate and helpful information.

There's gotta be a BBC page for ISIHAC that you could link to (and probably a whole messageboard just for sad gits playing Mornington Crescent ).

Speaking of which, it's almost time for ISIHAC

Changes made

I think 'first began' is appropriate - the electrification was very sporadic and took a while to be completed. Technically, the last bit to be electrified was the Jubilee line extension in 1999

Yep, Angel was definitely a case of cause and effect. Many entrances have been moved just to allow the change from lift to escalator.

I've rewritten the bit about destinations to make it less "never trust 'em"

Alex

But I've still no idea what current the trains run on - sorry...

I have a couple of friends who used to work for LU - I'll see if I can find out.

One was a driver on the *gulp* Northern Line. Can you imagine being at a party and someone asks what you do:

He: I work for London Underground.
She: Really? How interesting. What do you do?
He: I drive a train.
She: That must be fantastic job.
He: You'd think so, but it's really pretty boring once you get into the tunnel - it's not like driving a train above ground cos there's nothing to see. And then there's the shifts.
She: Hmm, yeah. I see what you mean. Another drink?
He (starting to think he might be on a result): Don't mind if I do. Is there any of that Cotes du Rhone left?
She: I'll see. Which line do you work on by the way?
He: Er... *meekly* the Northern Line.
She: What? I live in Hendon. I have to deal with that Mickey Mouse line every day. Trains breaking down, trains late, trains not showing up... and you drive one? Get yer own you

'Track Current: The voltage across the positive and negative rails is 640V. The current is about 25,000 amps'

from http://www.hems-london.org.uk/sops/download/SOP%20-%20One%20Unders%20Dec%202005.pdf

That'll give more of a belt than you get from sticking your fingers in a wall socket

Crumbs - if I was a driver on the tube I'd be heading straight for that 25,000 amp rail...

Rh for finding out the current

You don't actually mention what an Oyster Card is. I'm assuming it's a Tube pass that lasts for a specific amount of time or has a specific amount of money loaded onto it, but maybe you should explain it?

Ok, I've added a section on the Oyster Card

That makes things much clearer, thanks. Sounds like an excellent, efficient way of paying fares, actually.

Yep, it is - they even offer an automatic topup whereby if you run below a fiver on the Oyster Card it tops up automatically when you next use it. Problem is that you don't notice how expensive it is until you check your account...

Any other comments?

Traveller in Time lost orientation
"Is there a way to know North inside the tubes and at the entrances ? After two stations I lost my orientation.

Vatilation system is also used to neutralise the piston effect of an incoming train at the stations.

Where can you buy tickets (besides at Heathrow) ? "

I've done my best to explain how to find your way, and I've added more info about tickets and ventilation

Nice one!

Only think I can think of is: First paragraph - do the distances need the metric equivalent in brackets?

And knowing how many things *used* to have asbestos in (especially trains), I doubt any floating around on the underground came exclusively from the buildings, but it's a tad pedantic of me, so I'm not that fussed

Other than that... with getting picked.

Changes made

Any more comments?