h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

There have been a lot of good tips already.
I just would like to sketch out a different approach, because I always have problems, when somebody tells me not to be nervous, for example. So, having taken some courses in psychology and being an expert neurotic myself, here is my advice (following a rather excessively used scheme, I'm afraid):

1) You have only one chance - this interview. Never forget this.
2) The person you talk to is not just anyone. You talk to the ultimate impersonation of success and importance, you worm!
3) Deep inside your heart you know there are a lot of people, who'd be much better at this job. Trying to get it is in fact arrogant - face it.
4) You must not make a single mistake during the interview. This would spoil everything instantly.
5) The night before the interview, think about every possible question you could be asked. You have to work out a perfect answer to all of them.
6) Don't forget Rule No.1.
7) It's not them, who want anything from you. It's you, who is begging for something.
8) During the interview: just before you answer a question (A quick break here, contrary to other advice, posted here, you will of course _not_ ask questions yourself! Who the hell do you think you are?) So before you answer a question, ask yourself: is it good enough, is it witty enough, is it spontaneous enough. The good news is, that you won't have to ask yourself the third question very often this way.
9) At the end of the interview you should face the fact that you have failed. Panic. Try to pursuade them in a last hysterical effort. Threaten to shoot yourself or something.
10) Never forget Rule No. 1

Well, er ... that's ist. Hope it helps somebody.
yours slightly embarrassed,
phw (the-one-who-is-still-not-satisfied-with-his-nickname-but-is-unable-
to-think-of-any-other)

PS: This reminds me of something: Always remember how embarrassing everything you say or do is

Yipes! Interviews are not supposed to be cake and roses, but that's just horrible!

Er, no, it isn't. That's what I tried to point out.
It just can be a good idea to think some frightening thoughts to their (absurd) end. All of the above has gone through the minds of many people (well, a bit less drastic hopefully ) and exaggerating these thoughts (instead of trying to suppress them, which almost never has the intended effect) may help to see their absurdity and help one to relax a bit more.

Maybe, but I know plenty of neurotic people who would start to obsess over this list in all seriousness. Perhaps its a trick best left to the comfortably sane.

No! Believe me, I'm quite neurotic, I should know
We have such thoughts all by ourselves. We need no list at all.
The important point is that neurotic people don't actually believe these things. It's more like a half-conscious fear. The more you think about it, the better you can cope with it.
Take rule No. 2. Many of us have this really stupid picture inside our heads, where the boss of some big company is in fact a better human being than one self. Some glorious hero or something. If we think about it, we don't really believe this, rationally. But it is nevertheless in our heads. For many people talking to their boss is a bit like talking to their father when they were kids. (Especially those who had a rather stern father(don' t know the right word here...)
So I think reading such things in this way just causes you to think: well, actually I _really_ had a similar thought. Then you start to think.
It will not cure you of all neurotic fears of course, but it might help you relax, if you see just how ridiculous some of the things are.

BTW, you know anybody who is comfortably sane?

I'm comfortable, will that do?

Sure, much better than being sane either
Sane people tend to be so boring.

Your posting had the desired 'you're can't be serious ... ' effect on me. I hope you don't mind, I've copied it to take to the office - we work with people who are unemployed and some of them will appreciate this as much as I did.

Pheew. I almost began to doubt... thanks.
Course you can use it. The fee is 30 Atair Dollars per day, so I can get around a bit

well....sure...it had the same yeah right effect on me too. like...um...none of it is true....hmmm...

Oh come on now... it's called irony.
It's just my sense of humour...
You don't have to like it, ok?

Some of us like it--very much! You are succeeding well in your mission, PHW. Keep up the good work! But about that raise {grumble mumble, muttering toward the floor} budgeting, downsizing...*sigh* really, it's out of the management's hands. Can't get anything through the system these days. But in time....

Thanks MOG
Well, could we make it one GargleBlaster a week then?
And another one for Christmas?
*looks longingly*