h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

The only real way to get a nice bbqfire going is to build a little "coal- castle". Make sure it looks nice, this is essential. When you are finished, set up the most maniac- like grin you are capable of and begin to set fire to your castle. At this point, show no merci. Up an' at 'em!!! Finally crush your castle in little pieces again and start with preparing your food...

(Wherever you try to hide, smoke will always tend to come in your direction)

Coal?!!? hell you got to start with some nice dry Oak enough to get a good bed going about 50 lbs to start and you should have a bit of slightly green oak to get the smoke flavor after you get the side of beef on, a little salt, pepper, Garlic and crushed California chili powder is all you really need, or you you use Mesquite instead of Oak but just don't be screwin' around with no Worcestershire, soy or any other goo
that comes out of a bottle lest you ruin a perfectly good half a cow
here in the central coast region of California we call this Santa Maria BBQ. For those of us that grew up around cattle and low rolling hills covered with Scrub Oak, Manzanita and Citrus groves with the Pacific just off to the left we wouldn't have it any other way.

I've more or less laid it down as a UK vs.US event here. . . I use citrus for a quick marinade, etc. . . THE NONSTATERS do NOT have a clue about real BBQ. . .
I want a long weekend to drive up to and see what's up tht way. . .ALASKA would be where I Would be, but I'm trying for a transfer to EIRE. . .TO teach them ABOUT BBQ.. . .. . .