h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Homer: "But I don't even believe in Jebus!"

When Lisa (emotional & tearful) accuses Homer of not understanding how she feels:

Homer: "Lisa. Just because I don't care, it doesn't mean I don't understand."

Homer playing Scrabble:

"Embiggens is a perfectly cromulent word!"

STOP USING LONG WORDS!!!!!!!!!

STOP USING LONG WORDS!!!!!!!!!

My favorite has to be in the Max Powers episode.

Homer: There's the right way, the wrong way and the max powers way.
Lisa: But isn't the max powers way and the wrong way the same thing?
Homer: Yes! but faster!


hehe

tastes like burning is my wife's favorite.

I should have double checked my memory before i posted that last message. Actually, its:

Homer: And it doesn't stop in the bedroom. Oh, no. I'm taking
charge! Kids, there's three ways to do things. The right
way, the wrong way, and the Max Power way!
Bart: Isn't that the wrong way?
Homer: Yeah, but faster!

Also,

Homer: Nobody snuggles with Max Power. You strap yourself in and
feel the "G"s! (horrible pelvic thrusts)

and the other great exchange in this episode:

Homer: Oh, I almost forgot. While I was at the courthouse I had
them change your name.
Marge: To what?
Homer: Chesty La Rue.
Marge: Chesty La Rue?!
Homer: Just try it for two weeks! If you're not completely
satisfied, you can be Busty St. Claire.
Marge: I don't want to be Chesty La Rue, or Busty St. Claire!
Homer: Fine, Hootie McBoob it is.
Marge: Good night, Homer.
[Marge reaches over and turns off the lamp]
Homer: Sleep tight, Hootie.
Marge: Let go of those!

This line killed me when I first seen it on a commercial and had me on the edge of my seat through the episode...was I disappointed at Homer's delivery?...I was not!

Maybe they'll lead us to more mouthwatering monkeys!

I love it when Ralph talks. It's almost always stupidly funny

'Why do people run from me?' [Ralph's crotch area starts to moisten]

'The leprechaun told me to burn things'

I am new here and really luv this site actually this is my first visit
I am ispired BY dna and he is definately a hero 4 me. sorry i will now get 2 the point. The episode of the simsons (which i also luv dearly and am a dedicated and knowledgable fan of) with the chilly cookout has many great lines (ask any of my friends at school and they will tell u that most of my vocab and evryday talking consits of simpson qoutes) like when he halicantes from eating overly spicy chilly he oes in to a crazy highwhich looks like an old panting a bit. one bit where he wanls 2 the horizon the sun starts to set but when he walks backwoulds it goes back up. he starts (clasiicly) saying "sun goes up" (as he walks backwoulds) "sun goes down" (as he walks forward) "sun goes up sun goes down" then the sun shatters and he sais "note 2 self dot do anything" which is really cool and he does a really strage thing 2 his face and sais i hope i didnt brain my damage (u have 2 c it) then he has 2 follow a tortiose but it going to slow so he kicks it really far chasses it and then it tells him to climb a small pyramid but as he is about 2 do it he makes it really huge and homer sais "yhis is cuase i kicked u isnt it" the tortiose nods with a grin. and when he wakes up the next day he is realising what everythig from his "dream was" and sais ".....and that talking kioty(i dont know how 2 spell) was just a that talking dog" dog-"find u'r soulmate homer" homer-"wait a minute dogs cant talk" dog-"woof woof" homer-"damb straight"

my favuoite simpsons line has to be when Ralph says' "hi super-nintendo chalmers" that just cracks me up everytime i listen to it.

It's got to be when Homer takes Red the truck drivers rig.

Bart: Can I come?
Homer: Don't you have school?
Bart: Don't you have work?
Homer: (Smiling) Ah, Touche.

Mr Burns: "Simpson, eh?"

Ralph Wiggum: "My cat smells funny"

Vending Machine Repair Man: "We can get you out of the vending machine Mr Simpson, but we'll have to cut your arms off"
Homer: "But they'll grow back, right?"

Simple but classic...

Grampa Simpson: (Pointing to a picture of America) See this, boy? This is where we’re going to live. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but someday. Later that day, we set sail for America"


Homer: Oh yeah? Well you went to a COW college.
Lenny: You're only calling us a cow college cos we were FOUNDED by a cow.....


(Homer has a flower stuck in his forehead)
Bart: Why don't you just pull it out?
Dr Hibbert: Ha ha ha! I'm a doctor not a gardener!
Homer; " Could'nt you just prune the leaves so I can watch T.V?
Dr Hibbert: What did I just say?

Marge:"It took the children 30 minutes to find Canada on th map."
Homer:"Anybody can miss Canada, all tucked away down there."

The on where Homer Co-porduces a film ("Mr. Smith goes to Washington") and at the end the evil dog with the shifty eyes comes up for no reason.
(You really have to see it)

The best part of that scene is when Lisa comes out and lectures them about how wrong it is to eat meat. The guests turn into an angry mob and someone in the back shouts, "Go back to Russia!"

The best part of that scene is when Lisa comes out and lectures them about how wrong it is to eat meat. The guests turn into an angry mob and someone in the back shouts, "Go back to Russia!"

the best simpson lines are:

chalmers: so skinner i hear you're forming a baseball team and i was wondering who's on first?
skinner: yes not the pronoun who but a person with the unlikely name of who

that or

lisa: dad you can't judge a place you've never been to
bart: yeah that's what people do in russia

HI-larious

nad pretsel

I love the one where Homer's mailed Mr Burns a letter telling him what he thinks of him. He tries to get it back from the post office clerk by pretending to be Monty Burns.

"Ok Mr Burns, what's you first name?"

Homer - "I don't know..."

Classic. Also love it where Flander's house has blown away. After all the locals rebuild it together Flanders is ecstatic...

"If any of you guys ever need a think, just ask the happiest guy in Springfield!" Everyone then turns to look at a very happy smug looking man who says "No people! He's talking about himself; but thanks for looking!" Classic too!