Why did the last Post have no SSS? We-ell I'll tell you! If SSS had been on that week,
it would have been just another review on a history programme (Rory McGrath's Bloody
Britain) which although would have been informative and brilliant¹ there is a point where all
history shows are the same. So this week will be more of mish-mash of different
programmes in what I like to call The Small Screen Surfin' Small Screen Supplement
Collection! If only because it takes up space...

First off, rumour time. A while back I spoke about the need of a live action Star Wars TV
series - not a holiday special, not Ewoks, not Clone Wars and not
Droids². Apparently the Force was with me³ since rumours suggest that there will be one, in 2006. So after the DVD
release of the Original Trilogy this year, and Star Wars - Episode III: Come On General
Grievous! in 2005, the year after that will grace us with a pre Episode IV series.

I'm slightly pessimistic what such a series would deliver because - I will speak for every male
and good tasted female throughout the land - We. Need. Lightsabers!!!!! Rumours are that it
might feature Chewbacca and Darth Vader. Quite frankly it smells off 'here's what happened
after Episode III ended!' which leaves a series at the point of Luke Skywalker: the Farm Boy
Years (dear God no...) or The Young Han Solo Chronicles (kill me now) or Darth Vader: Jedi Purges
(ping ping ping!). I'm sure people would prefer to see a Darth Vader that can fight with a
lightsaber wiping out the last known Jedi. I actually think this series is a plot to have Jar Jar
Binks in more. We'll just have to see...

Next is Shane starring Frank Skinner. A sit-com about a mini-cab driver (who I might
add has yet to do any paid work) and his family in a crazy house of canned laughter. This
programme isn't good but it's not awful. The jokes would be quite funny if it wasn't for the
actors. Different actors would make this better. Seriously. I know that it was supposed to have
been written for Frank Skinner but, well, he's crap! At least in sit-com. None of the main cast (i.e.
the family) can deliver a line. Most out of place is the young son who, if put into drama, would do
really well! This is a sit-com lad, don't act like everyone (on screen) is dying!

The cast do make the script suffer. There was only one line I found funny and I'm gonna tell
you it so you don't have to give the millions rating Shane had first episode!

When Shane drops off his son's potential girlfriend, a heavily acne-faced kid sticks his head
through the window to give Shane a patronising 'All roight mate?' in Birmingham accent, Shane
comments at what a shame it would be that the car window accidentally closed on he kid's head, it
would 'Be like pouring advocaat through a colander'. That's just a great line just to picture it!

Next, Jake 2.0. Been on TV quite while now but never coerced myself into watching it
because it seemed like a modern rip-off of Steve Austin, the Million Dollar Man. Young Jake goes
into lab where he shouldn't be...blah blah chemicals blah blah accident blah blah nanomites to
rebuild him. Of course this didn't change my belief that this was just the Billion Dollar Man when
Lee Majors turned up. Hm, indeed. The Billion and the Million working together to stop evil
Russians. Overall it's just your fairly average stuff that churns out of the states. Need a fix of
international terror? Then try 24, it's better.

And finally the supplement of supplements... who was genius that thought 'Hm, Tremors,
good movie. Imagine it as a TV series!' These kind of people need to be shot.

Keep Surfin'!

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