h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

My best friend came out a couple of years back, and admitted that he had been a member of the TOTP audience in his teenage years. He is not renowned for his dancing ability.

During the show, he was threatened by an irate floor manager that if he didn't dance he would be thrown out.

So, my theory is that the dance steps danced on TOTP are the dance steps that people who can't dance dance, when under pain of death. As such, they are not affected by the passage of time or by trends in mainstream dancing.

Interesting. That probably also explains why everyone waves their arms in the air and tries to look enthusiastic during hideous slow songs (e.g Sir Cliff's "Millennium Prayer"), instead of heckling or throwing things!

You can't throw things at Cliff! Imagine it - even more blue rinses feeling sorry for him and buying the self publicising crap that is Millennium Prayer. My own theory about the dancing is based on the fact that the only place you ever see it (outside of TOTP) is at primary school disco's when all the mothers are watching little Johnny to make sure he behaves. The kids all dance lamely while parents are watching, but as soon as they turn their backs - WHAM! I bet as soon as the cameras stop shooting everyone rushes to the loos to pour water all over their hair before returning with dark glasses on and a determination to feel Melanie Jo's bum. Or was that only my school?