h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Thanks a heap for the great edit - looks much better now.

A few comments, questions and clarifications:

Talking about worms - "The legendary mind-altering effects of this creature relate to the amount of Tequila that has to be drunk from the bottle to extract the pickled larva at the bottom."

Rather than Tequila, this should refer to Mezcal, as I mention that tequila does not have worms.

Also the comment about visions one may experinece drinking to much tequila, I meant that one would see Aztecs, etc. rather than the things they may have seen. I do not know if pulque was used to produce visions, as opposed to hallucinagenics otherwise available - anyway, perhaps your interpretation reads better.

Should Tequila - the drink - be with a capital "T". I had a problem figuring this out - I thought Tequila as the proper name of the town is with a "T", is tequila is a generic name for a liquor with a "t"? Is Champagne the name of the wine with the capital too, or with a small "c"? Is it Riesling or riesling wine - I am curious what is correct in modern English - showing my ignorance!

Hey Dudemeister!

I think that "Champagne" and "Armagnac" and all the other drinks which are named after regions - including Riesling - are capitalised as the region would be. In French, for example, the words to decribe the wine and the region are virtually indistinguishable, either in conversation or in written accounts. Tequila would be the same thing.

Your article is very good, but tragically for me I am one of those who has never drunk good Tequila. The article brought to mind a classic quote about what I now know to be one of those lesser, generic brand Tequilas (or is it Mezcal...)? I thought I would relate it to you:

"Tequila and I did not have a good history. The last time our paths had crossed - an ugly, senseless binge to celebrate Mexico's national day - I'd been forced to spend thirty-three hours spread-eagled on a polished wooden floor, convinced that I'd been nailed there, so great was the pain which spiked through all my joints and organs. The host of that party, now the curator of a major regional art gallery, had kneeled by me a number of times the next day to press a wet cloth against my cracked and ruined lips. He ignored my croaks and groans of 'Oh you filthy bastard', putting them down to the horrors of delirium tremens."

John Birmingham, "The Tasmanian Babes Fiasco", N.S.W., Duffy & Snellgrove, 1997 (ISBN 1875989188)

It's a very funny book, and this part of it occurs in a very funny part of the story, but it seemed appropriate to apprise you of it!

Regards,

H.

Hi,
I'm glad Hypo cleared up the capitalisation, as to be honest I wasn't sure.
With regards to the worm, I think it states straight away that true Tequila doesn't have a worm in, only mezcal does. The problem really is that we are ignorant of Tequila. If we were to type that the hallucinations are due to the amount of mezcal drunk to reach the worm, then people are bound to reply with "Well I was drinking Tequila and had the worm in that!!", When in fact it was mezcal they were drinking, completely ignorant of the fact.
This article was a pleasure to SubEd, I don't think I actually did anything to it other than arrange the GuideML around it. Write more like this

In my estimation - If you drank a similar amount of even good whisky or Cognac, you would be significantly more knackered, as I believe those liquors contain many more chemicals that make you wish you hadn't drunk so much. This all goes to say it is often better to enjoy in moderation, sipping a couple of oz's of Armagnac with my creme brulee is all I need to be happy (I am a simple sort). With Tequila also moderation would be wiser, but I have had a few experiences involving epic Tequila consumption, and the worst effect being a longer overnight sleep than perhaps normal. "Up at the crack of noon"!

P.S. If I am not wrong, in Spanish, it is often written tequila for the liquor. So in English, it should be with a capital - I would assume in German also, as they love capitals for a lot more than in English, for places, varieties of grapes and wines, etc..

I have an (empty) bottle of Cuervo 1800 tequila. On the label they use tequila with the small "t" in the French and English Canadian version. But then again, this is a company incorporated in Mexico, the proper rules for English might be different on this thing.

thought i'd just share a tequilla moment. After ingesting 17 shots of the stuff my roommate decides to stroll on down to the female side of our co-ed dormatory. He walks into the girls bathroom and proceeds to relieve himself all over the place while yelling, "Theresa (the RA of our floor-who incidently just gave a talk about not using the other gender's bathrooms), I'm pissing in the girl's bathroom!" So he finishes up and walks out to find Theresa standing there looking not too happy. So at this point he decides it would be a good idea to grab her breasts, which he does. We all had a great time telling him this the next day as he had forgotten everything!

P.S. The roomate of mention hasn't tried tequilla since.

I submitted the following recipes a while back, but they didn't get anywhere. Since they're all based on Tequila I thought there might be an interest. I have a friend who downed four or five of recipe #3 one night. He barely stayed standing (he's a big guy with a high tolerance), but he swore to never do it again.

Pit Bull On Crack aka Pit Bull And Crank
Recipe #1
1 part Tequila
1 part Jagermeister
1 part Rumpleminze

Recipe #2
1 part Tequila
1 part Jagermeister
1 part Bacardi 151 proof rum
1 part Jim Beam

Recipe #3
1 Part Tequila
1 Part Jagermeister
1 Part Bacardi 151
1 Part Seagrams 7
1 Part Peppermint Schnapps

Note that all three recipes are centered on Tequila and Jagermeister. Think hard, 'Do I really want to combine these two rightfully notorious liquors into something I'm going to ingest?' Also note that the last two also include 151.

Forgot to say: DON'T TRY TO DRINK FOUR OR FIVE OF THESE AT ONCE! You will visit the hospital for alcohol poisoning! Most people are dizzy after one and can't find their glass after two.

My humble point was that there are some very fine tequilas. You could also mix a rare 30yr old XO Armagnac to make some cocktail, but you would be out of your mind.

Cheap tequila is just about only good for use as cheap alcohol for getting wasted quickly. But it is better thatn really cheap brandy for example, if it is actually tequila, the intoxicants (ie. other alcohols besides ethanol, poisonous volatile chemicals, etc. that cause, hangovers, and whatnot) are much fewer.

Funny, but I also do not remember one night after I hit the town with a friend after much consumption of mezcal about 11 years ago. We went to a popular Montreal hip-hop/rap club for all night dancing, and "to see what we could see". I woke up the next morning, and felt fine, but had this nagging feeling in my mind - "I promised to go out with so-and-so last night to that club after a few drinks" - I had better call to find out what happened. Apparently we went out and I was all over some very large angry "gangsteresque" gentleman's girlfriend, who did not appreciate this, and my friend convinced all not to draw any blood. My friend was very suprised that I did not remember, and apparently the girl was cute - my buddy very diplomatic - unless he was pulling my leg (?hmm).

But anyway, that was the first and last time I consumed such a large amount of mezcal! But I did not have a hangover, just a better appreciation of my physical well-being,... or gullibility!

I recieved as a gift, a bottle of tarantula tequila. This is a citrus flavoured mezcal, and it is great by itself or mixed into a coctail. |It is simmilar to Absolute Citron, or Bacardi Lemon.

That sounds interesting. Tequila goes well with lime/lemon flavours. Although tequila is tequila (with nothing added), many wonderful creations will be created, and hopefully would entice the pallette (chefs, etc. do this all the time creating such things as French cuisine). How is it, would you recommend it?

Another thing to do with tequila is stick a hot chile pepper in it. I have not tried it, but again, the flavours of Mexico complement each other. I have a bottle of Cuervo Tradicional in the freezer which is a rather good commonly available tequila - it really opens the appetite and has a nice aroma. I also have a bottle of fine XO Armagnac I try to spare, it has an intense boquet of vanilla, and other flavours, but it cannot be drunk like tequila, and only with the finest desserts!

I would highly reccomend it. It has a great flavour and mixes well with any kind of mixer that is complimented by citrus. I have had it in coctails like a Kamikaze and with Sprite. By itself it is very palatable. I forget who is the distributor, else I would point you to them. The product website is http://www.mccormickdistilling.com/ but it does not tell much about it. If you can find it I would give it a try.

Speaking of Tequilla stories, I have one on the behalf of a drinking age friend of mine who didn't much care for Tequilla. He went down to Mexico one day, and had lunch in a fairly nice resteraunt that played fantastic music with a joyous atmosphere. He was halfway through his Quessadilla when a man came in with a whistle, a towel (Yay towels!) and a bottle of Tequilla. This man says something to my friend, to which my friend nods and shrugs, not knowing spanish and figuring that nodding and shrugging and such is the best way to appease someone you don't understand. Before this friend of mine knows whats going on, the man walks behind him, pulls his head back, opens his mouth and starts pouring Tequilla down my friends throat. He then covers my friend's mouth with the towel, shakes his head back and fourth quickly, and blows the whistle as hard as he can in my friend's ear. Since that incident, my friend has grown to love Tequilla and has newfound respect for it.

I have seen that done to gringos in a bar in Tijuana.

In the restaurant staff, who is responsible for the administration of this? Is it the sommelier, the maitre d'hotel or the bus boy, for example.

In the bars that I have seen this done, you paid to do it. It is called poppers if I recall correctly.

"you paid to do it", ie "you are paid to do it"? You would be paying for this if you suddenly swallowed 10oz of tequila, so some form of compensation would be due. This is not a good way of drinking tequila for enjoyment, but will get you drunk very fast.

Which is the point as I am led to understand.

The one time I went to Tijuana for a short trip (with my boss - we were on business in San Diego), I remember a few points. First was on entering the city boundary from the border they handed out a message from the police mentioning that public rowdiness, fornication, defacation and urination, etc. will not be tolerated and you will be arrested. Judging from the smell and the crowd of people arriving over the border, the police were busy. Second was that this is quite different from the other parts of Mexico I have seen. Third was on having dinner at one of these bar thingies, we saw someone spun around in a chair and had tequila shoved down their throat while someone blew a whistle in there ear. I ordered a beer, but I was thinking of ordering a tequila to start before that.

The thing about the worms in Mezcal can also be attributed to the fact that, as was mentioned in the original article, Mezcal doesn't have to be made from agave, and was often made in the past with any old cactus type plant that could be found including peyote buttons. Hence, if the worm absorbed the psychoactive chemicals in these plants they would then be passed on to whoever ate the worm at the bottom of the bottle. Now of course consuming that much Mezcal certainly contributes the the intoxication but doesn't explain the 'visions' that are often related to the eating of the worm.