h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

LOL! Nice one!

Oh, and they also can't fly. Can't help thinking that might be an important fact!

Hey! Linux isn't hard to install provided you know what you're doing...

If anyone needs help with that, by the way, I might be able to offer advice. Drop a message on my user page and I'll see what I can do.

Just where is it these penguins are going that they have their tuxedoes on for?

I hope it's not a dinner date with a killer whale. The most amazing penguins must be the Emperor penguins - they overwinter in the middle of Antartica. (Remember 'Life in the Freezer', c/o Sir David Attenborough?). They must be mad.

Well, congradulations to me, because that's the first entry I got approved.

Well done, keep writing.

I think it's because they don't believe in flying

-B-

Dear Bumblebee,
It is theoretically impossible for you to fly, but you do. So don't blame the penguins.

A concerned aerodynamicist (and ex-penguin)

No, it's not their fault. And it would be very annoying to have penguins buzzing around our ears

I like best the little penguins that have that funny, yellow hairdo (feather-do).

-B-

Pikachus can't fly, either.

Some of them /can/ swim, however. The ultra-rare Surfing Pikachu, to be precise.

Here he/she is! My favorite the rockhopper-penguin.
http://205.252.27.4/~kwelch/pp/pics/rockhoppers-standing-about.jpg
An other thing thats remarkable about penguins is that it is impossible to
see what gender they have. You have to wait and see who's laying the egg,
and even that's not always obvious!

-B-

¤YK-47¤ Fine. Whatever.

¤Zippy¤ [throws back head, and, imitating a little blue penguin] WAGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

¤YK-47¤ That was very unprofessional of you, Zippy.

¤Zippy¤ [jokingly zaps him]

Who cares whether or not penguins can fly? If they did it would be pretty damn funny...
The most hilareous thing I've ever heard about penguins is this:
There were some people(army, whatever) who had to fly planes
over an island with a WHOLE lot of penguins living on it. The penguins would all be hanging out on the beach when the guys in the planes would fly by in front of them. The penguins would, strangely enough, turn their heads to watch. The pilots, for fun, would fly by a couple of times to make sure they had the penguins' attention. Then they'd fly straight at the penguins, who, unwittingly, would try to follow the plane but end up flopping over on their backs. Imagine it... several thousand penguins falling over onto their backs simultaneously.

[Zippy and YK-47 both start laughing.]

Yes, it is funny. But I no one said they were smart. I read a poem once that said they were sensitive... I wonder...

¤YK-47¤ [singing] Freddy the Flying Penguin/Is the silliest penguin you have ever seen!/Freddy the

¤Zippy¤ WAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

To make a penguin fly, you fire it out of a cannon.

Or print out a picture of the cute Linux penguin and stick it on the bottom of a 747.

Or something.

¤YK-47¤ Tell that to an Articuno.

Might I ask: What, exactly, is an articuno?

[brightens considerably] Articuno is one of the Three Legendary Bird Pokémon. It's the ice one, and according to ledgend is seen by dudes on icy mountains who're going to be able to measure their remaining lifespan in hours. "Cool," huh?

The second is the electric one, Zapdos, and the third (fire) is Moltres.