A Conversation for Insults

Famous REAL Insults

Post 1

119347 - I'm not a name I'm a number

I thought there should be a conversation about real life insults here so I decided to set the ball rolling

Nancy Astor to Winston Churchill 'You sir are drunk'
WC to NA 'And you madam are ugly - but I shall be sober in the morning'

Old and hackneyed I know but a definite score of 5

Famous REAL Insults

Post 2


I've always loved that one. smiley - smiley

Another classic was from Fawlty Towers. It roughly went like:

Woman: "He's a spirited boy. Rather highly strung."
Basil: "Yes, he should be."

Famous REAL Insults

Post 3


This may not be an actual insult. I can't remember how I came by it. I have used it once with great success and acclamation, probably my only 5 pointer.
A group of people came into my room. I had no wish to speak with one of them:
"Excuse me, (person's name) would you mind closing the door?" and as he went to close it "No, from the outside."
It worked. It worked!
But I don't where I would have gone if it hadn't.

Famous REAL Insults

Post 4

Mardi Gra

Lady Margot Asquith was famous for her acid wit. When asked by the actress Jean Harlow how her first name was pronounced, she replied, "The 'T' is silent, as in Harlow".

This is the best sort of insult: the apparently innocent comment. smiley - smiley

Famous REAL Insults

Post 5

Sick Bob. (Most recent incarnation of the Dark Lord Cyclops. Still lord and master of the Anti Squirrel League and Keeper of c

I heard another good Churchill insult once. I'm not sure who made the first assualt though.

smiley - sadfaceUnnamed woman: If you were my husband I would poison your tea.
smiley - winkeyeChurchill: If you were my wife I would drink it.

If anyone remembers who that was aimed at I would be much obliged.

Famous REAL Insults

Post 6


I believe that was also Lady Astor. Though not strictly an insult, but a pointed Churchillism was his comment to DeValera when visiting Ireland during WWII in the hopes of securing harbours along neutral Ireland's coast for the British Navy. When offered a drink, Churchill replied, "I'll have what I came for --- a few ports."

Famous REAL Insults

Post 7


Dorothy Parker to an unnamed Young Thing who had just let Ms Parker through the door ahead of her with the clliche, "Age before beauty". Dorothy swept by, leaving behind the retort, "Pearls before swine."

Famous REAL Insults

Post 8

Sick Bob. (Most recent incarnation of the Dark Lord Cyclops. Still lord and master of the Anti Squirrel League and Keeper of c

One of my favourites,

"What he lacks in intelligence he more than makes up with in stupidity"

Woohoo!!smiley - tongueout

smiley - bigeyesBOB

Famous REAL Insults

Post 9

Madame Aevil

Buffy the Vampire Slayer has loads of these, espcially between Cordelia and Xander. Here are some classics

Cordelia - Rather than date you, I would crawl into that hole and die.
Xander - Gee, thanks Cordelia. And I really don't know what everyone's talking about, that dress dosen't make you look like a hooker!

Willow (when Xander starts dating Cordelia) What's his number again? Oh yeah, 1-900-i'm-dating-a-skanky-ho.

There are lots of better ones, but I can't think of them right now. Anyone who remembers one please post it.

smiley - smileysmiley - winkeyesmiley - smiley

Key: Complain about this post