h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I see that while they've got Mr Potato Head talking, they've taken away his pipe!

Damn. He probably has clip-on cargo pants instead.

Actually, I was given a new Mr Potato Head last year for a "funny" birthday present (no Andre, it wasn't). The biggest difference I noticed was that he now has a handy rear opening in which you can store all the extra bits. So I suppose the ensuing bottom-jokes made the present funnier for 5 more minutes than it would have been otherwise.

What does he do for a living, smuggle drugs in carefully secreted condoms?

Well, I guess it was inevitable. Guest-starring on 3rd Rock from the Sun, the pressures of stardom must have taken its toll...

Well, he obviously thought he had a promising career ahead of him after Toy Story, but it seems the parts dried up after that.

Maybe a few months in rehab will let him reconstitute his career...

True, true. I mean, you hear of stars when they go through a bad patch tearing their hair out or something, but Mr Potatoe can tear his hair, eyes, nose, ears and who knows what else out, so I guess that explains his lack of roles - too many temper-tantrums.

It's worse than you all think; in desperation Mr Potato Head has turned to the seedy underword of porn films to support himself.

You can see him now in "Hot Spuds 4".

Yeah, but I heard he used a tuber-double.

I thought Mr. Potato head was a collection of stuff you stuck on real potatoes. I never had one, but my friends did - maybe they lost he plastic head, or in England we used organic heads - Anyway I am not going to persue a conversation line about granting crania to Mr. PH. Anyway we grabbed spuds and dressed them up. Plastic heads?

Very strange images going on there. You dressed up .. like.. real potatoes? I suppose it's a lot more flexible than Mr Potato Head Plastic Variety as the holes for eyes, mouth etc. can be absolutely anywhere. And environmentally friendly. Get bored, chips all round.

That's right. And you can chop the thing in half and carve it into a nice stamp to print things with.

As it happens, I owned an odd version of this same product - I had Mr Egghead. It was a big white plastic eggshape with holes. But on the box it suggested you could stick the features into a real potato, carrot or turnip and expand the range of possible fun. It didn't point out that you shouldn't try sticking them into a real egg, though...

Do you mean to say you DID stick them in a real egg????

Well, I did want to, but unfortunately my mum wouldn't let me try it...

A neglected childhood... Your tale has hit me here.
If you ever want to talk about it, then you can always find me in the pub! (F&F)

"Mr Egghead" sounds like the perfect drunken past-time!

Oooh, don't get me started. My mum never let me have a Mr Frosty either. What did she mean, waste of money... mutter... mumble... whinge...

Well, come over to the Forum & Firkin, and I'll buy you a drink, and you can tell us all about it...(A187508)

The original Mr. Potato Head sets did use with real spuds. I guess by the time the 70's rolled around moms were just sick and tired of finding rotted and/or sprouted potatoes in the bottom of toys boxes and closets, so they started manufacturing plastic potato head parts.

I played with these in the 60s so my memory serves me correctly. I also had a pet half spud I sprouted then lost in the toy basket for about a year. I then rehydrated it - and magically it sprouted again!

Back in the day, maybe a couple decades ago, Mr Potato Head was in fact a collection of accesories you could jab into the potato of your choice. This was before the time of political corrrectness and thus before the removal of the pipe. I really doubt political correctness has anything to do with the potato though. Maybe the company figured a little kid jamming or trying to jam a mishapen plastic shell supposedly resembling a potato into his or her mouth was infinitely less harmful than a real potato.....