h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Two other forms of TSP I've observed stem from just missing their train, and beating the door with their fists till a vein on their temple starts to throb quite worryingly. If you're on the train, you're rather hoping that the driver will start the train, before the TSP victim breaks through the door, and will most likely to be quite (worryingly) confused as what to do next.

Also if a TSP victim has managed to catch his hand in the door, then succeed in pulling it open (much to the chagrin of the others on the train) they will stare at the ground blushing furiously as new TSP victims stare at them with the look of death while staring at their watches passively indicating that if they are late for work and their boss berates them, its going to be their personal goal to hunt them down and beat the hell outta them.

And there's the psychosis of catching your train and then, as it pulls out, wondering whether it's the right one, and not believing anybody who reassures you.

Lil

Yes, that's my one. Whenever I get on a train, I start worrying that it is the wrong one or I'm on the half of the train that being split and sent on to somewhere else!!! I've had this problem for years since I was in my teens and it hasn't got any better. In fact, it is the stuff of my dreams or should I say nightmares.... I end up miles from where I want to be, completely lost and without any money...

Here is something slightly different.

You are in a city (Luzern) a fairly long way from home (Brugg) and there are two train routes you can take back. One via Olten, which is quicker and cheaper, and the train is about to leave. The other is via Zurich, and it will be an hour before that one leaves. It is late in the evening, so you have to go to a vending machine to buy your ticket. Here's where the catch comes...you rush up, knowing you have only a couple of minutes to catch the train, only to find that the vending machine will NOT dispence tickets for the route you want!!!!

True story...we got somewhat psychotic over that one.

Another form which I have come across in the hearts of many is that of the train not stopping where you wish to get off. Happens frequently to people in a hurry. They are rushing to catch the train and have not had time to check the timetable they get on the train and start on their journey. Towards the close of their journey they leave their seat/s and head for the door to wait for the train to stop at the next station. It doesn't, the train continues straight through the station on its journey to the next stop and the passengers are trapped.

That's like those night subways in New York. In the early hours of the morning you're coming home, safe in the knowledge that the subway shall take you there. What's this? There's some maintainence work going on, and its going to drop you halfway to downtown, leaving you to trudge up through Tribecka to Soho in the dead of night!
Course the London Underground could sure take a hint and open the Tube 24 hours on Friday and Saturday. Even one an hour would be good.

AAAHH!!. Yes the infamous "track work" City rails version of the black plague. I mean they could advertise it a bit better so as people could prepare themselves for the shock it brings. I mean people go to the train station as Trains are susposedly reliable forms of transport. Yet they always seem to lull you into a false sense of security. You reach the train station at an appropriate time for the train which will take you to your destination not to early but not to late only to find that there is Track work. NOOOO!! You know what this means BUSES. A trip which takes 15mins by train now takes 3 hours by bus leaving you late for work, the football, or that wedding you were suspose to perform. Also trains will run you to your destination but when you go to return you will kindly be informed by pre-recorded messages (used to keep Rail guards from physical abuse by enraged commuters) informing you that trackwork is commencing. You are now stranded. DAMN!!

(open mouthed wonder) You can understand the announcements?

Lil

Yes, but only just
It helps if you are standing on your head whilst recting "Oh my Darlin'"
try it

what the hell is recting? And what is oh my darlin?

I meant to write reciting and "oh my darli'" the song
you know
"oh my darlin,
oh my darlin,
oh my darli clementine
you are lost and gone forever....

Or, of course, there's the converse form of TSP, where you get off the train, don't get the overwhelming urge to get back on again and grab your keys which have fallen out of your pocket and resting on the seat, then catch a bus or more embarrasingly a taxi home, then realise that you have no keys and can't get in.

The worse train announcements has got to be Waterloo Main Station, the echo, echo, echo means sounds overlap and you cannot understand a word they say.
The underground stations are much better apart from Leicester Square when perhaps there is less echo.
The only thing worse than announcements are the trains. Connex trains both South Central and South Eastern are unreal, monthly renewers were getting 5% reduction last year because services had been poor for over a year.
Why did the railways get sold off?

That would be a variant on the Leaving Things Behind psychosis. Do I have my chequebook? Did I leave my handbag in the supermarket trolley? Did the cashier give me back my cheque card?

Why did I go out to the garage to fetch a lightbulb and come back with a frozen pie?

I'm now gettting another form still of the garage thing... mine's "Why have I ended up in the kitchen getting a beer when really I meant to go into the living room and pick up the letter that's lying there".

Working from home. It does that to people.

I work from home, too! Do you think it's related? This morning as I was sitting here I realized I hadn't adjusted the air conditioning (Florida) for daylight, and got up to adjust it. My route took me through the kitchen where I noticed some dirty dishes and did them. This gave me a sense of accomplishment, and so I came back, spiritually refreshed, and sat down again at the machine ... without having adjusted the air.

Perhaps it is related. Do you have two cats who make every attempt to ruin your otherwise carefully planned working environment too? Or is that just me?

I will gladly trade you one timid dobermann for your two cats. Gretta has a terrible fear of abandonment and tries to anticipate what I'm going to do next. I only have to look like I'm going to get up and she bounds to the middle of the room, quivering. Drives me BATS.

I think I'll stick with the cats, one of whom is terrified of me, but the other one has an annoying habit of jumping onto my lap and then onto the keyboard. It's very vuiel/mhdfmkl;d fzn;ldnk;cv /,lghnjxdfb you blasted thing.

Did your cat REALLY jump up when you typed that? knowing cats, it probably was going to until you started talking about it and then changed its mind to make you feel silly...