h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

...name calling is the preferred method for adult New Zealand males to greet each other in an informal setting eg a public house, or sporting event.

Upon recognition, one of the parties shouts out "How are you" (pronounced HOWAAAAHYAAAAH) followed by some derogatory remark about the other party.

Typical dialogue as follows:

KIWI BLOKE A - How are ya, ya old bastard!!!
KIWI BLOKE B - Can't complain, ya pus-ridden bucket of sick!!!

It is believed this trait is a means of quelling any latent homosexual feelings either of the two parties might be experiencing.

Kiwi sheila 1: Nice frock (thinks - she's living with that guy and still getting the benefit)

Kiwi sheila 2: Thankyou (thinks - fat bitch, she's really letting herself go)

All that goes for Australia and Germany, too...

my old nz favourite is that most desperate of come backs "i know you are but what am i" it works equally well in an "adult" political setting as it did in the playground.

I take it then you've sat in on a session of Parliament then?

oh yes, i've watched the little monkeys in full flight - very unattractive it is too. btw i organised a forum the other day which rodney hide was taking part in and the little bugger insisted on heckling all the other candidates and trying to pscyhe the new guy (the poor independent who's going to get slaughtered in epsom) out. he was just like a little bovver boy. i had enough problem getting the students to stop heckling so much without one of the candidates doing his best to interrupt at every opportunity. shame rodney shame.

besides this is a country where to more than two thirds of the population calling them an aucklander is a potent insult. (i say more than two thirds because a lot of the people in auckland actually originally hail from outside my fair city and are quite aghast if described as aucklanders, despite having lived here in some cases for decades.)

Aah, Rodney, the grinning little political leprechaun, dancing his merrily destructive jig around the bureaucrats and IRD. Well, that's how his buddies at NBR describe him. The NZ political scene would be quite dull without him.

Name calling in sessions of parliament are amazingly regressive and have the atmosphere of playground/schoolyard taunting matches. Ironically, the one insult politicians can't abide is being called a liar. Accusing another MP of this in the House is grounds for being chucked out. It's as if there's some invisible line between "creative management of the facts" and bare-faced, bald-headed lying...

yes i seem to recall in that back-sliding re Kevin Roberts the opposition still weren't allowed to call Jenny a liar - and despite Winston saying he woudl not go with National before the last election there seems to be some reticience about calling him a liar in campaigning this time. odd. just goes to show how removed politicians are from the rest of society i guess.

actually prebble and winston were both quite insulting to students who asked them questions at forums on campus in recent weeks - although helen clark was too, although a lot more gently - a girl asking about the loan scheme, saying that if there was no interest all the "smart" students (like herself) would invest their loans elsewhere (despite the fact that you can't draw down lump sums anymore, but that's beside the point) was told by helen that no matter what the scheme there would always be some bludgers. winston went all out and called one guy fat and stupid. from what i hear max bradford performed similarly down at Canterbury before the alleged assault a few weeks back

interesting - you would have thought they'd all be a hell of a lot nicer with an eleciton looming - maybe they're a sidsillusioned as the public are

I think that the smaller parties like ACT and NZ1st know their audience and aren't going to try and bend over backwards for anyone else, the way National and Labour are. The Nats and the Labs have a much broader support base and therefore a much better chance of actually forming a government by themselves (or in a coalition, a better chance of being the one with all the muscle), so they aren't about to risk that by marginalising any particular group. And even when they do (such as Labour's recent stance on West Coast logging) they go out of their way to repair the damage, or make up the difference (such as the current trend of electoral accomodation).

I also have a suspicion that there's going to be a backing away from making "election promises". The politicians may be beginning to realise that the voting public is beginning to realise that election promises mean ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

But back to the subject of lying, worse than being a politician accused of lying, is for a politician to actually be proved to be a liar or even saying something that isn't true, because the crime of "misleading the house" doesn't discriminate between the two. This is why they are typically so evasive in giving direct answers.

gee and i thought it was just the reptile dna, silly me.

i think politicians have been moving away from promises since 1984, it's just taken longer for the public to realise that they have - it amazes me what a short memory some people have eg the legions of eldery flocking back to winston - he's making virtually identical (or not as good) "promises" to them as last time, which surely shows he didn't achieve anything in coalition - they can't all have alzhiemers surely

When all else fails go for what you know, or what you think you know, or what you thought you knew. A lot of people vote with their hearts and not their heads - either everything is OK or everything stinks.

Three possibilities spring to mind.

1/ New older people. The original oldies died.

2/ Last elections elderly suffer from degenerative memory loss.

3/ Or my favourite. The oldies are having fun and enjoy teasing 2nd rate media types.

i sincerely hope the oldies are having fun and just teasing - or else winston will be have a lot more fun after nov 27th. again.