h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

As a child I was on the receiving end of what many would call a name calling/bullying situation. And as I say, many would call it that, but I simply let them try to have their fun which was very soon spoilt by my simple reply of "as long as I know what you wish to call me, then I can answer you. after all, there is no point in calling me something and me not realising it was meant about me and ignoring you. That would just be rude on my part. Now would you like some help in finding a humorous and possibly ridiculing name for me ?" This answer alone usually had them lost for words, but I found that the type of people to try to use such names for others were very simple in their humour. I must add that this is best used in front of potential followers of the bully as they are more likely to understand the irony involved and in effect lessen the influence the aforementioned bully has. Well, it worked for me.

Unfortunately i had a very big temper.
When i came to the uk at the age of 9 i found i couldnt first of all understand why they would wish to hurt me. I wasnt anything to them.
The second was that i was allways slower and weaker.
I learnt that bullies are allways cowards - they never pick on anyone who can adequately retaliate so i developed the strategy of delivering such a blow that the perpetrator couldnt do anything about it.
The first episode was at a prep school, a very tough place.
This little fiend had been on at me for hours - he sat next to me so i couldnt get rid of him.
Eventualy i had to go pee - he followed with the words, "dont think you can get rid of me that easily."
He started again just as i was about to let rip, so instead i told him what i was about to do if he didnt stop. He didnt so i did.
The shock was so much that he stood completely still, and even obligingly turned round half way through.
(we were both beaten)
The next was in another school with pepper at lunch. Unfortunately the lid came off the cardboard container and instead of the little bit it was a huge cloud. Again i had warned him and told him exactly what i was going to do if he didnt stop.
Later it got more serious but still the same process.
Work out the method of retaliation, inform the perp what is going to happen, give the guy the opportunity to back down, then if no positive reaction let fly.
The last was a few weeks ago, im now 52.
A bit of road rage - total bit of bullying on the part of a very large pick up truck driver and his friend.
Leaving his truck at a traffic lights with the engine running he and his friend advanced on me. Unfortunately for them i had left 2 cars length between our vehicles, so when threatened i simply drove. He didnt get out of the way as i guess he was used to the average person being intimidated by his bulk and threatening manner, combined with there being two of them. Im fairly sure i went over both his feet, but then i never looked back nor was interested enough to.
I dont look at it as retaliation, i look at it as a natural process.
Im different, so i easily become a target. Only the weak or those who need to bolster themselves at the expense of others bully. Telling them is not going to work, and someone needs to tell them to stop.