Name calling is an age-old and easy method of making a person feel bad about him or herself by turning an embarrassing trait into a vicious name and repeating it in a very loud, sarcastic voice. Many psychologists believe that name calling is a way to make the name caller (or perhaps bully) feel much better about themselves, but everyone else simply goes by the belief that being called names makes you feel pretty bad about yourself, regardless of the psychology behind it all, or whether the person who has just called you 'dogbreath' is feeling bad about themselves. Name calling can be divided into stages, explained further in the following.

Stage One

The first stage of name calling is simply picking a target, usually someone who is smaller or less popular than yourself¹, and calling them a rude name. Name calling seems to be a rite of passage in many cultures, teenagers making it a point of practising the apparent fine art. It can, however, also be a sign of affection, from parents to their children,

Come on scrote², let's go to the movies.

Hey Dipface!³

Go for goal Greasemonkey!⁴

Stop you..vandals! You half crazed Vizigoths...

So, where is this barnacle-bottomed, haddock-flavoured, bilge-rat Sir Rather-A-Wally Raleigh then?

You stoopeed In-gleesh Knig-gits!

Name calling can often be a difficult subject to broach with children by their parents, and on occasion very uncomfortable. An example of this can be seen in the 2005 film The Weather Man starring Nicolas Cage. His character has to deal with his daughter not fully understanding the nickname 'camel-toe'⁵ she has been burdened with by classmates, leading to a difficult and cringe-worthy series of events. How to deal with name calling is something many psychologists attempt to address, but there probably are no key methods. Support and understanding can't really go wrong though, and these can continue as severe name calling can lead to intense emotional scars, or worse.

WHAT Did You Call Me?

There are so many variations on names to call someone else, it's impossible to list them all here. However, combining a swear word with a body part is commonplace;

Hey, pissface!

Other varieties of name calling can be ethnic or cultural, such as referring to French people as 'Frogs', Germans as 'Huns', Americans as 'Septic Tanks' and so forth. Then there are divides in individual countries themselves, such as in England where those in the north are sometimes referred to as 'Northern Monkeys', and those in the south as 'Southern Fairies'. In Australia, Western Australians are called 'Sandgropers', and those from Queensland 'Banana-Benders'. Wherever you're from though, someone will think of some way of making it insulting.

Stage Two

The next stage is the name calling contest. It is not often undertaken by those being bullied, but can occur. It is more usual in younger children and those that are actually friends, and adults are also known to partake in the practice. The name calling contest involves trading insults, much like a verbal tennis match:

Namecaller 1 - Bumhead!

Namecaller 2 - Pizzaface!

Namecaller 1 - Crotchlicker!

Stage Three

The next stage is the eventual movement from calling another target names, to insulting something near and dear to their heart. This is, in most instances, their mother (or mother-in-law amongst older name callers). Examples of 'mother' insults include:

Your mother's so fat, she went to the movies and sat next to everyone!

Your mother's so ugly that your dad takes her to work with him so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye!

Yo' momma!