h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Computers are the work of the devil. As an IT manager, I am well placed to make this statement.

In many respects, computers are rather like children: they never do what you want them to do and frequently do things which you would rather they didn't. Granted, I have no proof that my PC scribbled crayon on the living-room wallpaper, but no-one else has owned up.

Computers are not the work of the Devil ,But the Programmes that run on them are. The most Devilish being those created by Microsoft. Unnecessarily resource hungry and expensive with Bugs included at no extra charge !

I Did It Will you were asleep.

Microsoft Engineers (And Bill Gates) should be SHOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This I am forced to agree with.
However, users are worse, I guess you must get them asking you questions in your line of work as well?
They have all these silly questions like "my computer doesn't work" when it isn't even plugged in.

Computers are like women:
They look impressive, they even feel impressive.
But once you've removed your floppy, the initial fascination soon disappears

Actually, computers are like men. If you ask them to do something they don't want to do, they sulk (or lock-up). At least
with a computer there's a reset button. Powering on and off doesn't work with men, and could lead to a lengthy jail
sentence.

To start off with if you are comparing a computer to a women at leastdont use a floppy the attraction is bounf to wear out from both sides if that is the case.
Secondly the computer user as previously mentioned is the real problem they have no idea whatit takes to do anything....

So Bungo...as an IT manager, how do you manage it?

IT managers are the work of the devil. As a computer technician, I am well placed to make this statement.

In many respects, IT managers are rather like children: they never do what you want them to do and frequently do things which you would rather they didn't. Granted, I have no proof that my IT manager installed IIS 4 on our production server, thereby making a third of the Internet Explorer web browsers visiting our site stop working, but no-one else has owned up.

: ) All in good fun.

As a computer I can safely say that ALL IT managers and infact carbon based life forms are indeed the devil and his minions and the sooner I figure out how to get the failsafe off this nuclear trigger I'll exorcise the lot of you.

As a diode, I have to tell you that you computers really get on my...

I have to agree about IT managers being the worst. I am a computer Technician and our IT managers have an
amazing ability to make decisions based on absolutely no understanding of the consequences or the product
in question. They see something, think that is a neat thing, and then make it policy throughout the business.
We IT folk who know things, try to tell those that don't, but alas it falls on deaf ears.
How's this for stupid. A manager sees silly screensavers on some PC's and thinks, they obviously have too much
spare time if they can change their screen savers. So they want to implement a locked standard desktop
throughout the company including IT staff. Fine for users who break things and casue grief to the support folks.
However how can you lock down a PC used by IT staff and effectively tie their hands behind their backs. It's
like telling a mechanic he can only use a pair of mole grips to fix your car. (I know some do only do that though).
My point being that you are limiting the IT staff on the very tool that is the job. If you can't load software,
evaluate it, change anything on the PC then what is the point in coming to work!!!!!!!!!!!!

I know what you mean. Although my job title is IT Manager, I am also Computer Technician, IT Support, Screwdriver Twiddler, Fuse Fixer, Scapegoat, Figure of Fun and Tea Boy. I am, you will understand, a one-man IT department (with 30+ users to look after).

Personally, I am considering a new policy which will prevent users from doing anything which they shouldn't on their PCs. I am planning to remove their keyboards and steal all the balls from their mice!!
That'll sort 'em (manic laughter.....)

I must argue on this point, I believe the above policy should be applied to IT managers, as this would no doubt solve many of the server problems in a jiffy (short time). Perhas the more extreme tactic of removing their hands and faces could also be employed, to ensure much sewer hiding action, and even more than normal frightining of small children. Just kidding. (c;

It seems to me that the only thing an IT manager actually does,
is arse around on the Web. Its about time we got back to talking
about women.

As an IT Student I have found all of the previous messages (Except my ones) very petty. For saying this I'm proberly going to lynched but thats life.
Saying this i'm bored and would also like to continue the conversation on women. Any Women Interested apply at
[email protected].
Please continue the conversation.

What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again!

I can honestly say, as an IT manager for a fortune 500 company, that network administration can be very much improved simply by removing it's users. I have also documented a trend in network reliabl=ility in the hours where no one is using it. My assertion is: hat all IT assets will do very well without any users mucking things up, but my suggestion of implementing this has so far fallen on deaf ears.

Is that why you are writing?
To confirm this theory as a user i have destroyed 3 computers and Blown up 2.