h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I'd like to suggest an update to 'The Guide'. I've been stranded here for 37 years, 5 months, 12 days, 11 hours, 6 minutes and 32 seconds. During my (forced) stay, I believe that 'Mostly Harmless' is in error and, when I finally get of this rock, I'll be asking my lawyers to take this up with the publishers. I suggest the following entry: -

Earth: Mostly Harmless (Unless you live there).

PS. Help! My Subspace ether monitor is faulty, hence my being stranded. Does anybody have a service manual? This backward race of monkeys can’t help me. I’m kind of hoping that Burt Rutan and Richard Branson can help, but I’m a bit short on cash at the moment.

PPS. 37 years, 5 months, 12 days, 11 hours, 10 minutes and 12 seconds, but I'm not counting.

Now 10 years later. Burt Rutan was a success but Mr Branson is not quite set up yet but will start trips very soon.

I'd like to retract my last amendment as I'm beginning to settle in now. Some of these Earth Monkeys are not too bad after all.

I'll check in again in another 10 years.