h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Well the ones that eventually pass their student days too. This leads to the new horror (well in England it does anyway). Da da daaah .... The Graduate Intake Program. A plan being taken up by most companies - this employs students with (semi) relevant degrees into various 'real life' jobs. (The below is taken from by own days as a graduate, and watching the other new graduates as they entered the company in the following 3 years)

The change from a student's typical behaviour to that of a graduate on their first job is like that of a caterpillar to a butterfly. This is where the student years really come in handy.

After beginning the new career each grad becomes aware that if they had attended any of their lectures they might actually know something of what is required of them. To deal with this lack of knowledge they overcompensate madly. They learn everything they can at phenomenal rates in an attempt to get up to speed. This involves coming in on time ocassionally even early, attempting to learn after work, gravitating towards any other ex-students in the hope they take pity on them and teach them useful skills.

As you can guess sleep is now a thing of the past - lucky for these graduates they've just spent 3-4 years (poss. more) having 15 hours sleep a day (more at weekends). This conservation of sleep will be necessary to get you through the first month or 2 of work.

Most of these graduates will also have friends who have not yet finished their student years - this providing them with a social life they can actually now afford. (Note: finding students of the opposite sex is quite easy as they will naturally gravitate towards anyone with an income - use these new found powers wisely).

Eventually this calms down after 5/6 months when they are finally up to speed and realise that any further work is only necessary for the advancement of their careers. This puts it in the same region as studying out of lectures, i.e. highly unlikely.


Businesses employ graduates for the fact that they will work for peanuts - 3/4 years of poverty gets you ready for any meager handouts. Most graduates think they are going to be paid reasonably fairly considering they know the truth that they have absolutely none of the skills supposedly covered by their course and stated they had during the interview. The only downside of this is that various banks and loan companies that supported your student lifestyle are now aware of your income and do their best to remove most of it from you.

Student days, oh how I miss them.