h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

This topic should be widened to include rules for supermarket shoppers, and should be enshrined in law. Ideally the penalty for a breach should be death, but that's only because I always exit the supermarket swearing to myself that I'll NEVER, EVER, go shopping again.

Pray tell, why do people have to abandon their trolley in the aisle after turning it 90 degrees, so that it blocks the widest amount of thoroughfare available.

Why do people park their trolleys in the middle of wide open spaces, or at junctions between aisles in an apparent effort to cause as much obstruction as possible.

Why don't shopping trolleys have some form of onboard weaponry; even a laser-tag style gun which hits infra-red receivers on the target, lighting up a sign saying 'GET OUT OF THE @@#&*((^[email protected] WAY!!!' would be a start. Supermarkets might offer a choice of trolley sizes, but none offer a choice between machine guns and rotating knives attached to the wheels. Could this be a new market opertunity for some enterprising retailer out there?

Laser guidance systems would also help, avioding the problem where some crazy trolley driver decides to push the trolley through a gap that it obviously won't fit through, squashing your fingers in the process, only to say "Excuse me" on the third attempt to get it through the gap. You!, yes, you in the brown coat over by the Delicatessen counter, you know who you are!!

Finally, why do people, whether pushing tolleys or not, just stop for no apparently good reason?

More information on shopping trolleys - A313282
Supermarkets - A112348

For the record, I once worked for a supermarket whose name begins with 'S'. No, not that one, the other one. Quite how I survived with my marbles intact, I don't know. (Perhaps I didn't, perhaps I'm imagining it?). It's enough to turn you into a homicidal system administrator; I'm living proof...

Flashing indicators and stop lights would also be helpful additions to the trolleys.

I feel your pain. And personally consider having all my food delivered (just as soon as I win a lottery)

I think poor shopping manners are especially prevalent in England. When I lived in the UK I found enjoyment when I was stationary and a fellow shopper backed into me and then swore at my carelessness. It felt like a war, and I found myself getting up at 5am to go shopping at 24hr shop just to get away from the crowds.

How about some sort of licensing system for using a supermarket? Any Ideas?

Ebert