h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hmmm....I wonder how many of these icons REALLY left a good-looking corpse? I doubt whether James Dean was a pretty sight after a high-speed car crash. Jim Morrison was a bloated wreck by the time he finally kicked off, Hendrix wasn't looking too great either. I have no idea what Alexander the Great looked like at the time of his death, but considering that 32 was a fairly advanced age at the time, and the fact that he had campaigned halfway across the world, he probably looked somewhat weatherbeaten.

Is then, the alternative to be a wrinkly rocker like Mike Jagger who looks more like an alligator handbag every time he appears on stage, or a Roger Daltrey who so memorably included the lyrics "hope I die before I get old" in "My Generation" and ended up making American Express commercials?

Well, there are always a few honourable exceptions: Joe Strummer never ranted about wanting to die young but died unexpectedy aged 50 of a heart attack, or Kirsty McColl, killed in a stupid boating accident aged 41. I don't know if either of them left a particularly good-looking corpse but they were both great performers and people of integrity. Joe & Kirsty, RIP.

"Every cheap hood strikes a bargain with the world
And ends up making payments on a sofa or a girl
Love 'n' hate tattooed across the knuckles of his hands
The hands that slap his kids around 'cause they don't understand
How death or glory becomes just another story"

- The Clash, "Death or Glory"

I agree the examples I mention probably failed at step three, but then I was thinking of them of the epitome of the shortened thing: 'Live fast, Die Young'.

I agree with you about Joe Strummer. Iggy Pop is doing pretty well, too. Mick Jagger was exactly the example that came to mind when I was thinking of people looking absurd as they grew older. I wonder what it is with him that causes that reaction?

With Mick I think it's the infamous lips - they mysteriously stay young and pouting while the rest of him crinkles like an old painting. I bet somewhere in Mick's attic there's a pair of horribly withered lips (a la Dorian Gray).

The Ig isn't looking too bad these days although he should ease up on the workouts or he will end up looking like Clive James's description of Arnold Schwarzenegger - "like a condom full of walnuts"

Drink varnish - It will kill you, but give you a lovely finish!

I dunno, David Dickinson seems to be doing quite well on it...

The last pictures of Jim Morrison still show him as relatively good-looking. a bit large, but not unattractive.