CAC - 23.01.03
Created | Updated Jan 22, 2003
'We put the CAC in AggGagCAC.'
Fiction Weird Science First/Personals Satire Kitchen Syncronicities
This week, CAC takes a look at the 'joys' of languages.
What do you get if you chain up two negatives? Or two positives? For a start, we take Old Sayings Gone Wrong by Martha Rigby as the answer to that.
You might say now that... two Wrights make ... an airplane1 but then there is possumus minimus' answer to the case of two positives:
Language Usage
Newsflash! Understanding each other is feasible. Even Greebo's natural language has been decoded and finally we all know...
How to Speak Cat by U182712
... although we sadly have to admit that this dictionary is lacking the catese expression for 'I want a '. There's still something left for s to find out.
English is awfully hard to learn for non-natives. Klingon is easy. Elvish is plain simple. English pronunciation is, in short, straightweirdward. Proof can be found here:
Languages by U163150
However, even native speakers do have their problems understanding each other, as can be proved (proofed? proven? proffed?) by this example:
Learn to speak 'Drive-Through' by, you guessed it, U179619.
Then, there are s and other sub-species of the human race that do use standard English words but have created wholly new languages around them. Let's take Legalese as one example:
Contract For All Occasions by U187300
and
Medical Jargon by U137209
as another.
So, it's Greek and English that are to blame for everything. We bet you already knew that. Greek is dead, and there's a solution available to tackle the problems with English:
Euro-English by U112916
On behalf of the Committee for Alien Content,
reminding you of the ongoing Underguide discussion,
peace,
"42 may be the answer, but we believe there are still questions to be asked."
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