Smudger Snippets
Created | Updated Sep 2, 2004
I suppose it's because I have so much time on my hands these days, that all these memories come flooding back to me.
Disability, The Cost
I never gave this subject much thought when I was fit and healthy. It was not until my wife was diagnosed with emphysema and deep vein thrombosis in her legs (blood clots, as we know them) that the subject first came into our lives. It was not long before she could not walk very far before becoming short of breath or the pain in her legs would get so bad she had to sit down. A wheelchair was supplied by the local NHS1 which was really helpful as they cost around £200 to buy.
However this was of no use after a short while. The pains in my back, which I had received in a work related accident some two years earlier, got so bad that, in the end, I myself was stopped from working on medical grounds. In fact, it was only a few weeks later after I had seen some specialists that I was registered disabled myself.
This was no surprise to me as I had been told by the specialist that it would happen in the future, yet I thought that meant years away.
All this was not in our plans when we first got together some thirteen years earlier; in fact we even believed it was punishment for running away together in the first place. Yet here we were only married seven years and both disabled. There are two ways you can add up the cost of being disabled; one is financial pressure and the other is emotional either of which is going to hurt you far more than you ever imagined. In fact the emotional side can and does lead you into a deep depression which makes the adjustment even harder to bear.
I think looking back over it now, a major support we both shared was each other and some of the humour brings a smile back even now. For example, one night when my wife fell over while going to the toilet and I just could not pick her up we both ended up crawling back into bed. You never really get used to idea that you are, in fact, disabled and that causes frustration, especially when you find that you can not do some of the easier things in life, like walk very far or work in your garden. With this in mind, I set about changing things. As I mentioned earlier, the financial cost is high so you have to try and improvise as much as possible. After searching through many companies offering these electric scooters, we soon found that the cost was way above what we could afford. So I contacted my cyber friends on an ex service site that I use on the internet and asked around. Within a week I found myself driving down south on a 390 mile round-trip to pick up a second hand scooter for less than a third the price of a new one. One of the members on there had just bought his mother the scooter but she had died not long after and he was only too pleased to help.
We then had to find a way of getting in and out of our car and the alloy ramps available from the disability shop were £99.99 and were too narrow and short anyway. So I made a set of ramps, along with a clip-on mechanism to stop them spreading apart and Velcro strips to stop them slipping down when in use - total cost £3! So a great saving was made there, although I had to find myself a chair first.
I cannot stand for long now or even bend down, so the first thing I found was an old bentwood chair and cut it short in height. This then enabled me to carry on doing some of the things I used to be able to do, like making things and gardening. In fact I had to make a pair of grabbers for this very purpose as the ones that I had bought were just not robust enough for gardening. So with an old set of Bar-B-Q tongs, and a wire coat hanger along with two bits of stick, a grabber was made. In fact they are even better than the bought ones as they can pull out large weeds (after the soil has been loosened by means of my extended claw) and even lift a single tack from a wooden floor.
All my neighbours are used to seeing me sitting down to do my gardening now, so I do not get stared at any more. Even cutting the grass is easier now as the mower holds me up while I am cutting and the chair makes it easier for me to empty the grass box.
I know some of you are asking why don't we get some one else to do these jobs for us, but the point is even your own family do not want to help or lend a hand and we simply cannot afford to pay someone to do these things. Thats another thing that changes when you become disabled; you tend to lose a lot of the people you thought were your friends. This does not matter however, as the new friends you make while attending hospital or outpatient clinics, are far better, as they tend to understand you and your needs better. In fact just the other day while I was unloading my wife's scooter in a multi-story car park, a bloke came up and asked me where I got the ramps made as they are just what he needs for his wife. So, after a short conversation and the changing over of phone numbers, it looks like I am going to making another set.
So you see life does not end because you are disabled. In fact it's just starting. All you have to do is control your feeling of frustration, take charge of your depression and just get on with it. I think I am fortunate really, as at least I can still make things and still do a lot of things for myself and my wife. It is just like back when I was working in Russia and my workmate was always moaning about the things we never had. I remember telling him at the time to just be grateful for what we have and adapt these for our use. I never felt as cool about all this at first, in fact I was very bitter and angry until I realised that it was not helping either of us. So I just had to set my mind and body into gear and get along as best I could. There are still times when it gets me down, but then again I used to feel like that when I was fit and healthy.
I know it will get worse as I grow older; all I have I to do is grow more determined!
