On 20 July 2000 the first campaign to be Virtual Prez of h2g2 took a grim twist. DD wandered as is his custom into his local, the Forum and Firkin and found a pint of Guinness nicey settled on the bar. He took a sip of it and quickly found himself clutching his throat and fighting for breathe on the floor.

The Suspects

The Cheese has been waging an active and violent campaign against DD from the start of the campaign. This includes attacks on Mama Peta's, during which DD had to lock himself in the kitchens for his own safety. A quote from Katsy one of his loyal campaign leiutenents 'ANARCHY NOW GETS THE BETTER OF ME AND I DESTROY EVERYTHING IN SIGHT!!!!!!!!!!'.

Could this include poor DD?

Pergrin and Bluebottle have both threatened to assasinate DD Bluebottle only days before was overheard saying the following to their Security Advisor Amy the Ant, 'I promised DD I'd murder him somewhen, and I'd hate to disappoint him...'.

Have they finally fulfilled their promise?

The two Dons Alfredo and Vito have been trying distance themselves from the fact that they have a history with organised crime. The DD campaign team had however been keeping tabs on this furtive activities. Don Alfredo has been heard to say 'For the other people who are running for President I have the following message:

Withdraw while you can, life is short enough.'

Was this an attempt to shorten DD's life?

The Celery was heard saying'There's a coup going on, and STUMPED was not informed? WHAT IS THE WORLD COMING TO WHEN THERE IS NO HONOR AMONG THEIVES??'. One definaition of Coup is 'to eliminate by force if necessary the opposition' considering the state of the opinion poll recently published.

Was the elimination of the main opposition a secret strategy of the Celery Camp? And just who is this mysterious candidate anyway? Answers please to Keyser Soser.

Eomando could have used her Jedi powers to mysteriously move the poison into the pint of Guinness.

Big C was recently found to be wanting to take over the world. The only thing stopping him was DD, who just kept on stopping him.

Has Big C attempted to put a stop to DD, permanently?

Baldrick Promises a Vote for him leads to Heaven on Earth.

Does standing against him lead to a quick exit to the real heaven?

Redbeard was in the Forum and Firkin at the time of the incident. He was first to try and revive DD but also the first to revfive him at the ER.

Is this care and consideration a cover up?

Dr. E Vibenstein has actually admitted 'What a lightweight! I only spiked it with floor cleaner.'
but whose employ/influence was he under? Was he acting alone? Is he a scapegoat for a Government cover up? And were other poisons also added?

Maybe it was the Sub Editors in a vain attempt to get some less articles submitted to the Queue.

Police Baffled

At the moment police are baffled how such a likeable person as DD could be so savagely cut down in the line of his normal day to day life at h2g2. They are pursuing all lines of inquiry. They have recently enlisted the help of Hercules Parrot that famous Belgian Detective to help with their inquiries, here are the statements so far.

DD Watch

Nightly we will update you on the state of DD's health. This evening he is in a critical condition in an Intensive Care Unit bed.